Life is
neither ugly nor beautiful always. It is what it is and eventually it is your
attitude that will shape the destiny and shape of your life. It depends upon
you only and definitely not the external forces. They may toss and turn you and
give all kinds of strange twists to the drama of life; you have to just face it willingly and more
stoically keeping the sense of humor and the spirit of laughter.
You always
look for perfection when none exists. You resent whenever there is falling and
failing in life without understanding the basic truth that life is like that only. It is better that
sooner you realize that like the success that you have tasted you must also accept failure also as the
inevitable part of life.
This further
means, no happiness or peace will dawn until you learn how to accept life on
its own terms and not yours.
Temporary
setbacks and a long spell of laziness and craving for sensual pleasure should
not derail or destroy you. As the sexual energy is vital and fundamental it
should not be allowed to be hijacked by the intellectual hormones and instead
redirected and focused on creative work in a phased manner?
As someone said,
“no man wants to watch a dream die at
his feet”. Fortunately all along you had no big plan or ambition or goal in life.
No regrets or complaints. Having lost the ferocious forties and the matured
fifties and not to speak of the sweet innocent twenties and mesmerizing
thirties, you are now craving for the academic lust and Kama to dig deep into your discipline and the
pleasurable task of translating Tamil literature.
Recall your conversation
with the star writer of your region Prabanjan:”I
have been always seduced by economics all through my life The Result:I lost my
touch with my Tamil-reading and writing. When I am nearing sixties I want to
return back to my roots ,to romance with my literature. This is more akin to
having more sexual craving theoretically at the old age and also the
realization that real sexual gratification is next to impossible. And yet I
will continue to lock myself into a tight embrace with Tamil while not
delinking from Economics- my first love in this birth
I am sand
witched between this twin love and it should elevate and energise”.The writer
was pleasantly shocked by my analogy savored its content and asked me to repeat
the sentence. I did translate one component of his short story and N Chokkan’s
lengthy short story that appeared in Ananda Vikatan a good tamil weekly.They
are resting in the machine.
My dear Sam
! do not worry about the past. while the
time is running out you want to catch up with the lost opportunities and wasted
time, sorry, invested time in teaching
for students.I could feel the emotions crawl on your face and the beating of
your heart for creative writing. Therefore
come out of the deep slumber and prolonged laziness as you cannot afford
to fade into oblivion.The time has come
to recollect in tranquilty and with the God given command over the language and
the natural ageing process triggered maturity - a little mistake only, you will
commit while writing
Let me conclude
Sam by again retelling the Metaphor of Life as revealed by Terri Guillements:
“Weather is
a great metaphor for life- sometimes it’s
good. Sometimes it’s bad, and there’s nothing much you can do about it but
carry on umbrella or choose to dance in the rain!”
What are you
going to do Sam? Dance in the rain and soak yourself into, your Disciplines ,have
a steamy affair and achieve the nirvana of life in work and work only/
Be sure that
all the gods will conspire and help you to focus more on studies and reinvent
you as a good student in the subject.what else you need in life?
