Monday, May 24, 2010

Ruminating at Mid 50’s: Tasting the Flavor of Suffering

Today, 22nd February 2005
I have arrived at mid 50s
A mild tremor, a welcome discomfort
A right signal to notice the inevitable
Ageing process, a natural consequence of biological clock
I can’t avoid, but truly must internalize
And definitely slow it down,
By working out sensibly and more responsibly
Weeding out anxious thoughts, and of course all kinds of worries

Why I am starved of minimum peace?
Is it sister’s pain and agony?
Why did the cruel hand of
Destiny distance us,
Built fences around us
Like erstwhile Berlin Wall
Into infinite ways
Inexplicable relational attributes attitudes
Misplaced ego and wrong understanding
Affect me, upset me,
Dislodge my peace,
Enhance my anxiety.
I should moderate and slowdown.

For so long, she was never
In the frame nor in the
Picture of things dreamt
At the time of reconciliation
There’s a nature’s retribution.


The mild full cry of my
Better half over phone last night
Is only a sample of
Our collective suffering,
Which in essence a sample
Of the sufferings of broader world around us
With all hatred, vengeance,
Anger, bitterness, and all kinds
Of outrageous behavior,
Really uncivilized behavior
Among relatives and friends
There’s always love,
Tenderness, sympathy,
A minimum concern
For the relational links.
For how long, she will live and suffer

Or suffer to live and to recover,
To reinvent herself for a
Different and better life?
I do not know
A character born late,
With color, texture and
Bundle of laziness and comfort
Loaded with misplaced jealousy
Borne out of ignorance
Enjoying food,
And also work in later period of life

Thanks to an enterprising life partner
Is now tossed up in bed
Coiled up in agony and anger
Food and taste buds have
Become distant relatives.

Anything can strike any one
Like a bolt from the blue
The deadly disease
Has struck
The intelligent and stupid
The hardworking and lazy
Have all become a prey
For that dreadful disease, of cancer
The diagnosis and the cure
Are not just the acts of God
A direct and straight intervention from their domain
Why does it arrive
Without notice or warning?
Will she face it with Stoic Smile?
Or welled up eyes?
Whatever will happen,
Happen,
Let there not be more
Pain, more bitterness.

Murugan’s narration of
Sixty five year old lady surviving
With the disease
By sheer faith, beyond the power of
Medicine and therapy
Is indeed an amazing story
A fairy like event.
This unique event may not be
Replicated, reenacted?
But definitely release more
Strength energy to face
Events in life.
What can’t be cured must be
Endured
We must all learn how
To taste the flavor of suffering.
(From My Dateless Dairy)

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