Is life ordained from above and do we have any choice?what makes life meaningful and is there any purpose to life except to serve?

Why are we born?what we do while we are living?Are we making our life meaningful? Will we cease to exist after death? Is there anything in afterlife apart from lingering in t,he thoughts ofrelatives and friends and some known persons for  a while!

Is everything already programmed?Are we puppets in the drama of life? Shall we say there's nothing in life worth complaining or grieving because it's all maya and illusion or everything is there, and life is to enjoy the beauty and it's absurdity, but we hardly notice it...

All these philosophical questions matterto those  who are well placed and well settled and for the majority of the population in the world every day isa hell and every step that they take dims their hope and disturbs their determination while seeking job or getting  health care and shelter?

Why are some people selfish to the core, more greedy, more  mischievous and arrogant, more ambitious and more trecherous in indulging in corrupt and immoral practices, full of hatred and vengeance and more keen in appropriating the power and wealth and  to do all kinds of atrocities by dishonest and foul means and so on..Valluvar says this needs to be researched and investigated..

The important thing is how to live properly and that will help us how to die happily and honourably with dignity

The distance between tragedy and triumphs, between life and death is not distant, it's defined by a narrow distance.Death was there even while we were first conceived.Not all the sperms succeed in penetrating the egg in the uterus of the mother.It is the strongest, healthiest and the fastest one outsmart the equally efficient and qualified ones.There is probability and divine grace at work when this magic of fusion takes place.The fact of the matter is that while others die and give way a solitary , sturdy sperm alone wins the race.

The egg sperm fusion leading to the formation of the baby is a great wonder and  a lot of science and mathematics must have been incorporated along with other finer details.

Right from landing on earth with a welcome cry, till we go into the earth,back to the pavilion,every day every minute and every Nano seconds the old cells die and new cells are formed like autumn trees shed the leaves and spring back to life

If we know how to live properly and more meaningfully then it is easy to learn how to die more more honourably with dignity as and when it arrives, accepting the pain of reality.

If easiest death occurs at the ripe age like a candle melts and get dissolved it is bliss and best. One does not know both the timings and the mode of the arrival of death.This is a mystery. Saint valluvar was blunt in telling the plain fact that the person who was here yesterday has ceased to  exist today and he is no more and such is the greatness of the world...we shall live each moment enjoying the beauty and mystery of this life and death calculus.That will impart more sanity to our life.we shall measure our steps with all humility as our days are numbered. 

what we know is little! but we pretend as if we are jack of all trades and fool ourseves and the society

All through my academic life inclusive of my retirement period during which the academic greed has only increased,I knew that I did not know much, but constantly thinking how to improve my knowledge and update my self in teaching.with humility and a sense  Pride   I would say that amost of the things that I taught were learnt after getting the degree.Indeed most of us qualify for the degree only after getting it as my. Professor S P Viswanathan used to say at presidency college..He was my neighbour in the fourth or fifth floor at Bhashya Sadhanam lodge 49 Nallathambi street Triplicane.He and S P Palanisamy another professor who stayed with me on the same floor, were my mentors and guides who shaped me we'll both on the academic and personal sides.

When I came across the sentence,"we can only know that we  knew nothing.And that is the highest degree of human wisdom" in Leo Tolstoy ( war and peace) i was pleasantly surprised that I had already internalised that spirit of Tolstoy.

When I am in the sunset stage of my life I feel that I have forgotten my silken touch with my subject and I remain fully ignorant of what is happening around me as most of the news is fabricated..But with the four decades of teaching as the collateral I do have a semblance of some wisdom which must reside in some parts of molecules of the brain...At best I can be a good discussant than the main player....but given the compelling environment ,I have the mental stamina to wade through international economics.I can't escape from my discipline..That is not only my merit but also a disadvantage for I  will not be able to read other books...

Understanding the fact that I do not know and that I will not know much in future  and hence I should study as much as possible and as fast as possible is a sign of wisdom.

Tamil literature will merit  more attention than economics and I need them to survive as the ageing process is making me to feel sleepy cutting my active hours every day day and also açeleratea my sleep drought which is not healthy at this age ....I need to read   and write for my existence although  no one  is waiting in the queue....This gives an extra freedom and bonus to write what we feel.Nature will decide which one must survive.If it makes sense the internet will carry for a while and then the nature will take care of our residual as it has taken care of me this far .

Loving children and respecting them by listening to them is the greatest gift we shall ever bestow upon them

The other day I was re reading the famous write up by the poet Kahlil Gibran on children...I had already written it  in my diary...A few observations and comment from memory:

Children are not your children.True, they came through you, they are with you,they are like consumer goods when they are young and they enrich your life with their love, innocence and intelligence.They make you remember your own younger days, the forgotten golden days of your life.And yet they do not belong to you.They are not possessions like property..yes in a sense,they are more like investments,giving protective economic umbrella to parents especially when they do not have any post retirement benefits..There are countries now which impose conditions that grown up children should take care of the aged parents.

Children belong to the future.Their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow.They are the symbol of Power and beauty,adding more colours and festivity.Without them the house will not be home and the marriage boat is sometimes anchored well and does not get tossed or turned by stormy weather in their presence and fragrance.

So dear fellow parents,you can't behave like boss in the office and make a mess of their life by injecting your thought process into their mind and make them to live  a life which you desired but failed to do because it was beyond your reach.

You behave sensibily and more responsibly and try your level best to be an ideal role model.If they are convinced  with  your approach and atitude will be a good guidance they will emulate by seeing without any goading from your  side.

As argumentative humans, children should become anti authority and anti establishment and must merge as crusaders for change.

I love the children of the world..Many are deprived, without food on the table,and the tables are not also there because there is no shelter for them.without job and income their parents are unable to give them education and food and make their life free from misery...

Governments have a role to play to take care of them by  fine tuning policies from the corporate friendly concerns and  show a demonstrable evidence that they will be people centric in a typical Marxist perspective.

Flowers have a short lived life but the scent it leaves behind in its trail is everlasting

The green grass  while carpeting the earth silently

does not seek any recognition or any attention

But we do appreciate and rejoice over its beauty

When buds blossom into flowers

There's no one to celebrate its birth

But  they live fully and feverishly and more forcefully

Their existence is brief but bright and glorious

Radiating fragrance and flaunting multi colour

Again no audience is stationed there to applaud..

Long after they are fallen from the trees

And crushed under the feet of humans,

They do not experience any fear or pain

What's the secret behind this glorious existence

It's all the secent that they release while being crushed

While breathing with Stoic smile on their death bed.

The secent lingers for a long time,

Even after they are gone.

They are nameless and faceless,

Homeless and do not crow about their nationality.

I want to live like this flower

Thank God ,from the centre stage,

And all limelight I am now a spectator

Observing events as they unfold..

Before I get folded  up into mother earth

Returning back to the only place from where

I came,let me evolve as a man of good deeds

And leave behind the scent...

It was corruption then to place him on the pedestal, now corana has fully exposed his real colour and political charactor inviting ridicule and foreign aid from many countries in the world

Corruption has become an all pervasive  and all encompassing phenomenon and defies solution because no serious or sincere attempt has been made so far . This single term was played upon to dethrone the previous government.

The government which came to power by tinkering with this term by giving tall promises  to battle corruption, stamp out the Swiss black money deposit 15   lakhs in each account ,provide liquidity, stimulate growth and create 2 crore jobs per year , and so on has become a laughing stock.

Under the impact of the cumulative onslaught of the twins ,note ban and GST at high rates , growth not only faltered but also became  uneven and distorted and all the key variables which govern the growth process  became  anemic  ;it will take more time to return back to the old normal of high growth and the new normal will be  insignificant not worth mentioning.

Even when growth rate used to be very high ,there was a complaint that it was jobless growth .Imagine then what will be the employment secenorio now  four years after demo-when the twins have just devastated the economic fabric,and corana has intervened and contributed it's lion's share in deepening the employment crisis.

it  remains at 45 years high;Investment is at15 years low .bank lending has remarkably declined .For small and medium industries both finance and demand remain as problem.Rise in NPAs and corporate frauds and  selective concessions and loan write off in the current regime signals a massive redistribution of factor in favour of the capital.

The corporate friendly govrernment continues to be  indifferent to farmers problem and rural distress.The economy has suffered and there is no will to make amends for the cumulative policy errors.

 The so called   money channelld through the digital technology  in a more transparent way,the claim often made, is again doubtful and to what extent  the intended or targeted beneficiaries  have been benefitted.

In 2014 the launching pad was coruption,Ram temple , polarising india by denying economic and political space...

Today it is caught by the virus which has become more militant and virulent and its variant has spread to 44 countries and becoming a mnatter of global concern.who was responsible for this ?

What has gone wrong ? Is the government accountable and answerable?

Let me doucument it for posterity briefly.

(To be continued under the caption:

I can't breathe, cries the nation

We don't mind if he goes) 

.

I am a machine created for reading and teaching which I enjoyed most

In my 30s, I exercised

to look good.

In my50s,to stay fit

In my 70s to stay ambulatory.

In my 80s, to avoid

assited living.

Now in my 90s ,I am just

  doing it of pure defiance

Growing  BOLDER.COM

I am a machine created for devouring books

Said Mark once,

In my case I was made for reading and teaching

Going back to the quote,

I have not had the habit of exercising

When I have begun my early70s in 2020

I realise I must restart the machine and do

Simple breathing and stretching at least.

I am starved of good books and also deep sleep

For long being preoccupied with teaching and preparation

I hardly spent any quality time with my family and parents

When the old age catches up and Whispers my

Falling and failing in life, my burnt out life ,

Recklessly lived without much holidays, I repent now

Having had spent for more than a year at Adelaide

By being sleepy and becoming lazy, not walking much

I rest and relax but not getting refreshed or rejuvenated.

Will frozen shoulders and tired knees get a boost

and will God change me for the better

and enable me to do the work, reading and writing

And make me a bundle of energy, joy and peace.

I am D Sam and I do what I do

Poetry survives because it haunts and it haunts because it is simultaneously utterly clear and deeply mysterious,because it cannot be entirely accounted for, it cannot be exhausted, says Louise Gluck.

Mine is a poetic prose;words came to me from different sources and they just fitted into my story,-the life story.

.I am D Sam:I do what I do.I am what I am.By birth I am Tamil.And by sheer açcident my nationality is Indian,as my birth place and residence happen to be a part of India..But I consider myself as a world citizen.All countrymen are my relatives and I belong to the entire world.I can't escape from it.This is because the compassion for humanity is built into my system in a natural and normal way.

Who am I is a complex and difficult question.There is a poet, child, student, teacher and rebel in me.I am an argumentative Tamilian proud of my roots, and tradition.My ancestors and the language they have spoken have a rich legacy.I can't identify with the religion of Hinduism as Iam above religion.I do not invoke my caste name although I cannot escape from it..That can't be my identity.It was just a symbol, never misused by my father...

Iam spiritual and strictly not religious.I am sensible enough to understand that Iam not just the body, but inner consciousness...I am the soul and I do represent that self.I must be myself..I do not want to immitate or replicate someone..what I say or do is not to please others but to make life more meaningful and accountable.

What I prefer to eat what dress I want to wear,whom should I date and marry and how must I lead my life ,... the list is long and endless, it's my prerogative and my will.

Do not put your concept of religion, your awkward behaviour, your sense of hatred and your way of arrogant life on me.Let me lead my life with the sense of humour and compassion at heart.

I have been ordained by the destiny for a purpose.without grumbling and complaining let me do my work and negotiate all the vicious curves and  bends on the road of life..you don't have any right to confine me into the narrow walls of nationalism and destructive communalism.

A few confessional statements when the new year has just begun

I came to Adelaide for the first time in November 2017 close on the heels of  the demise of my love and life, my wife.She was not merely beautiful, more elegant and cultured but largely accommodative of my disorderly orderly behaviour and sheer madness in my teaching profession which called for a massive preparation every day and all through my teaching life at predegree, degree and postgraduate level be it at college and later at University, I never carried notes to my class and gave lecture extempore...The entire credit goes to her for my continued romance with my economics discipline.Furthermore,she did play an incredible role in g,icing birth to  three  daughters and raising them as responsible children and eventually getting them settled in life..

It was not a mean achievement for in the second half of her life she had more health problems and with all the stress of the economist hero of the Beautiful Mind movie she survived and braved all dangers and the wise and benevolent destiny conspired to help her and kept her in good humour....

In March2018 I returned back to my home town the French town Pondicherry with my Adelaide diary one .Next year I planned for a visit to the United States but for reasons known to the God, despite getting visa ,I cancelled it and during that period I wrote a lot of poems and  few of them were typed later at Adelaide...

The second trip again commenced from November 2019 for a long trip and the return ticket was booked for ,the month of May.

But the intervening of corana did upset all the plans and the entire 2020 was spent in this beautiful city.I lived through all the seasons and corana was not much of a problem even while it proved to be a great nuisance and disaster for the majority of the nations

Living through all these months at South Australia,in a perfect homely pleasant atmosphere I must have read more and written more although I did live with books and recorded my emotive feelings which will come under  the head scribbling pad from Adelaide 2019/2020.

One good thing,is that I wrote more poems in 2020..Most of my writings are mostly autobiographical, with the exception of articles in Business Line and   a university journal Erudition...

Let me make a new beginning from today to be a little more active  in blog writing and also using Norwood library...I do not know when the windows in the airport open for geting board pass to fly to my home town to experience the smells and sound of my place..until then let me do my work and also get engaged with my grandson who is mostly an explorer and space studies lover...

I am also going to be  Little cautious what I put in as foodand also look into breathing pattern and sleeping hours..welcome 2021 once again ....