Fred Halliday passes away into History: I remembered a young scholar on West Asia

When I read the news that Fred Halliday, an expert on West Asia, a scholar of international relations , who advocated justice, human rights and socialist democratic values , died of cancer, I remembered my young scholar friend, who shared my geographical and emotional space for few years in our university, before he moved on to a prestigious institute in the South.He is a scholar on west Asia and I felt that I must share this news with him. For a longtime since he left my place, there is not much contact.In the meanwhile, he got married and a son was born quickly and he got hijacked to family commitments.We were relegated to the background. Without hurting him, I lamented over the email that , “The days we spent together long long ago , some 17th or 18th century will never come back. Occasionally we should remember each other. I will read more on Fred Halliday's obituary.”

He replied back immediately. I am quoting below some excerpts in order to showcase his mastery over language as also the subject.

“It is indeed sad that Fred Halliday is no more but what makes the news shocking is its suddenness. Suddenly one fine morning we receive the news that Halliday is no more, while it was just the previous night that I had decided to pick one of his best books Middle East in International Relations. It is sad because in Halliday we have lost a saner liberal voice amid an atrocious cacophony that passes off as serious academic debate on West Asia these days. On my part, I have started praying, in all dearness, for long life of the few remaining ones like Chomsky, Fisk, Uri and others. However, I must really thank you for remembering me even with this not so pleasant piece of news.
You are right the time spent in Pondicherry will never come back. Now that I sit back and take a relaxed retrospective glance, I find that those days were definitely one of the best days of my life, although only I wouldn't go so far as to push them to 17th or 18th century for they are very much itched into the experiences of the 21st century itself.

You are right again that we should remember each other quite often. On remembrance, life since fatherhood has alerted me to this new but very perceptible development that I have realized of late. Earlier when you would charge me with forgetfulness, I used to take this accusation very lightly because hardly a week passes by and we haven't been either in Pondy or talking about it! How could I possibly be forgetful about it?
The situation is different today. Now I am getting around the idea what if it is true; what if I am indeed being forgetful about it after all. Perhaps the reason of this sudden bout of uncertainty is the fact that I am absolutely clueless as to how, since I have become a father, days have rolled into weeks and weeks into months. Now my worry is when these months will melt into years and years into decades, will it still be possible to remain as clueless in the end as when you had started with? That there exists this possibility explains these bouts of uncertainty, I guess.


Sir please don't get me wrong. This is not a pessimistic assessment of the situation but merely a theoretical exploration of that possibility which might lead the situation to a particular end. I am quite hopeful that my case has not gone beyond redemption simply for a reason that since I am aware of this possibility, I am also aware that this situation might take not a particular end but any end. I don't know what makes me write these things to you. I am extremely sorry if I have bored you with these self-doubts of mine.”

Life has become so fast faced, hectic and also chaotic that we have forgotten who we are, and why we are here. No close relation or friend shall be blamed for forgetting us or not remembering us, mailing to us or phoning up occasionally. We also don’t do the same. The fact that we all live in a world of pervading uncertainty, must eventually propel us to remember that on occasions at least we should remember. True love or friendship always gets locked up into the heart layers and molecules of brain, and let us not complain. We may not be more communicative or enterprisingly good with the computer, but we shall be more supportive of all those who are very near and dear to us. In a world where the change is the essence of life, sustaining old and freshly formed relationship demands a little bit effort, concern and emotional wave length. Literature is bristling with episodes where true friendship has flowered between people, even without seeing each other. Let not distance separate the mind.

Deadly diseases afflicting Shining India

We have heard philosophers saying, “An unexamined life is not worth living.”

But no life can be ever examined fully. The world we live in, and all our inner world are such a complex entity that they are not simply describable in straight equations or simple formulae. There is an all pervading uncertainty in the real world. Life is full of paradoxes and puzzles and our knowledge of external world is extremely limited.

But quantative experts operating under sophisticated models involking all unrealistic, rosy assumptions which are mathematically amenable always live in a blissful world and give a neat prediction. Let us not trouble them for a moment.

Many scholarly pundits are seduced by their predictive capability and quantifying things. Should we bother about this self flattering industry of the elite ? We shall not trouble them, for a moment.

Do we the students of various disciplines ever bother to stress on reflection, experience, wisdom of our forefathers and all intellectual interactions that we need to have with fellow scholars in order that we shall have concern for the poor and deprived here and abroad, laying full emphasis on honesty and efficeiency, as the hallmark of life ?


If the elite the population, the educated segment, the well entrenched in secured job, go after wealth and power and more wealth and power , for developing more arrogance, to do more mischief, all based upon status and tiltles and not based upon real accomplishments, what’s the use of all knowledge that the elite has accumulated over the years ?


If economic theory and all the empirical inquiries using all the stastical and mathematical tools under the sun cannot help create a better economic world and resolve all underlying social and economic conflicts, who else will come forward and accomplish the task ?

The essence of life is to love, respect and have concern for others, From Kenneth Arrow, I have learnt : “ Concern without respect is at best paternalism and can lead to tyranny. Respect without concern is the cold world of extreme individualism a denial of the intrinsically social nature of humanity.”

When many well placed and well positioned affluent segment of the community in leading walks of life, inclusive of self declared pseudo spiritual gurus, soak themselves in sensual pleasure and indulge in a royal escort of thousand car culture, what ordinary mortals, the poor and deprived can do ?

IPL scam, unearthing of huge amount of gold and truck load of cash, Godmen’s golden caves and luxury suits and swimming pools ,Nauseating cricketers and cinema stars and political stars wealth, and a frustratingly irritating degree of corruption of majority of the bureaucrats and politicians are the real symptoms of the deadly diseases afflicting shining India , hardly ever bothered by the judiciary. Nature will not allow this madness in method of wealth accumulation by fraudulent means. ..!

Watching the Sun Rise

For the last few days, I could not go to beach and see the Sun rise. The hard-won discipline and wisdom to go for a walk in the early morning got derailed as some sluggishness and uneasiness had set in. I know I should not allow this kind of laziness. Let me hope that I will make walking as a habitual exercise.

Watching the Sun rise,
Everyday,
In all its glory and pleasant fury
Especially against the backdrop
Of a lovely sea,
Is a great privilege and a
Rare chance.
The pity is many who
Are busy in walking,
And also chatting while walking
Hardly have any serious
Inclination to pause a little
And stand and stare at
The red orange popping out
Daily on the horizon of sea.

The other day,
When I saw,
The sun was fully hidden,
Under the clouds, not much black
On that day,
The clouds resembled like Western Ghats,
A series of hills, neatly arranged
The top layer being illuminated
By the white silvery light
And at a distance,
A temple like appearance
Of the same family of clouds
Also clothed by light,
Were visible more majestically.

Suddenly the sun came out,
As if being poured out
This time by a fierce animal,
As the clouds have changed
Shape from that of mountain.
Just imagine the sun
Being pushed out by
A strange, violent animal
Which cannot be fully described.


Today, a small reddish sun
Was just emerging out of the sea
It was very very small
Just like a big dot,
Kumgumam Pottu,a sticker on the forehead
On a beautiful black girl
But suddenly the young sun?
Got dissolved into the sea.
How a rising sun could
Go down into sea and disappear.
It appeared so,
With all magic of the cloud.
Was it the death of the sun /

After a pause,
It again resurfaced,
But only to disappear
Into thick clouds, again
My eyes could not track the sun
Thereafter and lost sight of it.

God paints like an artist.
The reddish sky, with many
Layers of clouds, weaved through
Infinite color and texture
It is a pointer that the sun is always
On the move and would
Arrive at any time,
Subject to, the shape and scope
Of clouds density, texture and color.

A clear orange red sun,
Emerging effortlessly upward
Without any intervention by cloud,
I saw one day, not
On the beach road,
But on a road marching
Towards sea shore.
That was really wonderful,
As the big round sun
Was clearly visible
The green trees on busy street
Serving as backdrop,
This time. (19.4.2010)

A Golden Sun was in all its glory

Today I saw the golden Sun
First it appeared as a
Thin thread of light like silver
Popping out of black clouds
Later, it looked like two eyes,
I am sorry, before that
It resembled like a diamond stud
Adoring the ear of a damsel
In a side posture
Face fully invisible.

While I was lost in those
Bright two eyes,
The lovely adorable eyes, for a moment
They all rolled into one:
A big golden ball like
Beautiful look,
I locked into my eyes swiftly
Ever to remember,
A rare sight
Usually one can encounter.

Fortunately there was no intruder of
Walking beauty variety
To disturb and dim
This divine dharshan,
A vision to be cherished
And savoured for long
This golden Sun was there
In all its glory
For a little while only
Like great saints and poets
Who live for a short while
And then walk away
More pleasantly.

No sooner the Sun appeared
In all its glory and grandeur than
It was submerged by
Deep black clouds,
Which existed there as background earlier,
Now they became the
Central dominant stage,
The Sun sucked behind it
Not to be seen at all.

Its existence only revealed by a streak of light
A sort of red light somewhat shallow
On either side, up and above
And far below it
It was a kind of band,
Within which the
Sun was bound and trapped?
Fully invisible
If this is the fate of Sun
One can well imagine
Where all our ordinary sons of Bharat,
Will go
And earn their wages of labour
In a recession ridden,
Economic environment.

T.V.Channel gets liberated from the clutches of Government.

All the following four pieces were in the closing days of 1989, and they were located in a old diary yesterday. I am not a poet in any strict sense of the term.But somehow or the other I have imbibed some poetic impulse or a particular style of narrating an event in a poetic prose or free verse. I wish I had written more during those times, when I had more air and fire.

Some one called you as Idiot Box
I don’t know how far it is true,
But one thing is clear to everyone
Till recently you were a bonded labor.

Fresh wind of freedom is blowing
Across the world and our own subcontinent
You are also going to be liberated.

Will you really become free and independent?
Truly autonomous in letter and spirit
Can you cope with the change?
Giving objective assessments and
Well reasoned arguments.
Beware !
You have the legacy of the past
Branding opposition as dacoits
Portraying the rulers as patriots and saviors
You could insulate yourselves now
No more hero worship
To usher in a vibrant democracy.


Finally a word from the far off south
There is a vast sea of humanity
Beyond the Hindi-heart land
They have keen eyes and alert eyes
But not privileged enough
To watch and hear.

For the physically handicapped
There is a special programme
Will you invent a new channel
For the linguistically handicapped

You can prevent
The North-South Divide
Open up new vista of knowledge
Entertain and educate, the young and the old
In an understandable language.
29th Dec 1989

The Agony of a Sex Worker

Some one told once
Be happy and at peace
With yourself.
Because this is one way of being wise.

Again he consoled:
Love your life: or else
Everything is lost

I love my life
Yet I am deprived of all
Simplest pleasures of life.
All the doors are closed
No way to get out of
The deep and dark tunnel
Is it the end or the beginning?

Oh God!
Have you punished me
And distanced me from pleasure
As I loved my life too much
Alive I am dead
God! How can I die again?


It is better to go back to hell
Because there lies my heaven
You are all civilized people on Earth
Let me go away from your sight

You always optimize your utility
Treating me as commodity,
Subject to your budget constraint
Have you ever thought of my health constraint?

I am a nurse healing your wounds
Afflicted with disease and despair
Who would console me and cry
When I die like a rotten cabbage.

29/30th Dec 1989.

Praying for the Stability of Motherland

Oh! My Motherland,
Beautiful country of Bharat
We pray for your stability and survival

At Midnight you were liberated from the British
A great number of masses still in anguish
Groping in darkness and despair
With Poverty and Ignorance as only companions.
You are a plural society
Craving for unity amidst diversity
Bristling with composite culture
Striving to reconcile with regional identity

But alas,
The sycophants and men of senitude
Conducting exhibition in the art of flattery
Want to enslave you
Plan to crush you
By a heavy hand of
Caste and religion
Creed and color,
And by erecting language barrier.

Oh! My mother land
Beautiful country of Bharat
Will you meekly submit and perish
Under the heavy weight of corruption.

No. you are not destined to die
Yours is a tender plant of democracy
That should grow and prosper
Taking care of the little poor ones.

Dec 1989

A Common Man’s prayer to God? It’s better to die standing Rather than to live on knees.

A wave of sadness
I can’t speak of
Swells in my heart

No solution is in sight
Except to fight it out
Alone in my heart

You have gone to a deep slumber
Never to rise and bother
About the weak and the humble

Past determines the present
Present determines the future
That is how scriptures say

I can’t unravel my dead past
Nor pierce through the veil
Of mysterious Future unborn

If everything takes place by thy will
Why can’t you cleanse the hearts
Punishing the guilty and greedy
Protecting the innocent and needy
It is better to die standing
Rather than to live on knees

13.11.1988

Living Each Moment Happily is the most Blissful Experience in Life –Let us all strive for that Exalted status

A Swami is meditating at the feet of Himalayas, fully absorbed in his tapas, not for his salvation but for the entire humanity. When he is back to the conscious state, he is asked, “Are you happy?”

“How can I remain happy, when many of you are unhappy on Earth?”

Let us take a snapshot picture of people wading through the streets, entering into banks and other offices, sitting in restaurants, bars and theaters and so on. By close observation you would notice that with the exception of a few, there’s no trace of cheerfulness of joyous expression on their faces. You just watch yourself into the mirror, and suddenly you would realize that all the sadness on the earth would be just written on that. Kindly don’t mistake me, it is not ‘you’, but all of us, ‘we’ have this attribute, the sad and brutal fact of being unnecessarily unhappy with our selves.

Once Abraham Lincoln told that sadness was dripping from his face and that if he was to redistribute it evenly on all the faces, no one could be happy on Earth. Forget the sense of humor of Lincoln, we must understand the agony that he would have undergone by seeing all the treachery around him.

Why are we not happy? When we arrived on earth, from somewhere, we had all the magnetism, heightened innocence, and all happiness under the Sun. have you ever noticed the infant child sleeping and also smiling while sleeping? All of us were in a wonderful blissful state of experience during our childhood. How did they vanish and evaporate into thin air while we were growing up ? How could we afford to abandon that innocent laughter so soon? No one has a right to be unhappy. Indeed everyone spends his whole life time in accumulating riches , which will help enable him to enjoy all the comforts of life. But at the end of the day, are they happy and peaceful? Will cheerful disposition and good health of both body and mind will simply follow from those material acquisitions? The answer is an affirmative ‘No’. Please don’t misunderstand me that I am not suggesting any frugal life for others. I only say and suggest that the current phase of materialist, capitalist civilization with all built-in money making madness and pub culture, really do not provide any lasting peace or emotional security.

Science and Technology have thrown open a new vista of consumerism of elite variety and the privileged and blessed affluent segment soak themselves into an extravaganza of reckless and ruthless comforts triggered by rich man’s stock market socialism. Costly electronic gadgets, air conditioned banglows and cars, combined with all their titles and designations like industrialist or banker, keep them in a intoxicated state of power , arrogance and individualism and so on. But are they happy? Will cell phone and A/C Car confer perpetual happiness, peace and a sense of well being ? Are they aware of their self, as an individual, or identify themselves with the mask that they are wearing and hence forget their true nature, the inherently childlike nature of being happy and enjoying each moment of life as if it is new or last In life.

A Collector in a district, a police officer in a metropolitan city, or a great university professor can’t just walk in home or non office corridors, fully conscious of their titles and official identity.

The inherently lovable nature of human,- the child like innocence of the personality is buried deep under the mask of identifying ourselves with the positions that we hold. This fundamental flaw needs to be weeded out, if we are to rediscover and reinvent our true nature. More than scholarship and material richness, what is needed is to develop deeper and stronger feelings of care and concern for the fellow humans. To what extent, we can provide comfort zone for others in our daily living, especially in lifting the people from the bottom while they are climbing in their ladder is more important than anything else in the world. The essence of all religion is that at each moment one should really enjoy life, given all the constraints and the challenges. But the crude fact is that we are in perpetual worry or sorrow, a sense of alienation and grey dejection haunting our mind, making misplaced comparisons with others. This identity crisis must go by looking inward and keeping ourselves engaged in an activity which we like and cherish most.

I am told by my PhD Scholar that this is the 100th posting, since the creation of the blog. Thanks to his untiring effort and goading. I could write on general themes in the recent times. I still feel guilty that I am not able to articulate on many contemporary themes related to international finance, where I do have some special advantage.

My Grand Daughter Knows Taoist Philosophy

Clinging to mother’s breast, a child wants both nutrients and emotional warmth. A typical traditional mother enjoys the serenity of the shining face of the child while enjoying breast feeding her child. The mother also enjoys peace and bliss, an inexplicable joy, which can only feel and not express. How many mothers, inclusive of homemakers today have the innate wisdom, health, time or mindset to breastfeed their children, sorry a single child. In the fast forward life working mothers hardly have the relaxed atmosphere to take proper care. Being born to hardworking parents, seventeen years after their marriage, I distinctly remember having tasted the elixir of mother’s milk for a very long period. It’s not that others have told me about this.I do have that memory. I was a blessed child, indeed.

In the initial years after marriage my first daughter had difficulties in conceiving .Once that gift was showered on her, and advised to take proper rest, she resigned her job and did full justice in bringing up the child. Given the closeness of mother, and all proximity, the child was also pampered, rather excessively. She is now fully grown up and doing LKG.

Recently, parents meet was held in her school, which is actually positioned in a college. That was also a day when proficiency prizes in various sections/ subjects were to be awarded to meritorious kids.

My granddaughter insisted that her mother must attend the function. She was feverishly bristling with enthusiasm to take her mother to the first mega function in her school.

To tease her, my daughter told: “you have not won any prize. Either in subject or sports. Why should I come?”

Pat came the reply in Tamil from the kid, with all sarcasm and smile on her face: “Mummy, don’t you know that in each class, only one student can get the first rank.In running race too, only one boy or girl can come first. We should not worry about it. You are going to see, next year, I will study well and get the best marks.”

I was amazed by her wisdom and intellectual inventiveness. Positive thinking about life must be learnt from the kids. Every child is more precious and wonderful. I am reminded of the words of Taoist philosopher Lao Tzu

“ Be the last. Move in the world as if you are not. Don’t be competitive, don’t try to prove your worth- there is no need. Remain useless and enjoy.”


From My Dateless Dairy

Ruminating Over the Tragedies of Life- We need to stand like a Rock

G.Ranjitha Mary, the daughter of one of my colleagues in the university who is now retired, wrote the following poem, when her mother died in a midnight car accident. Around March 2002, I recorded this in my diary. While attempting to write to my youngest daughter, on the question of death, Ranjitha’s poem was prefaced.

Very recently one of my old students in Karaikal College, now settled at Pondicherry, lost his son in a road accident. It was only a few years ago he lost his wife. I have all the uneasiness and nervousness to go and see him in person and console him. I am not sure whether he has returned from Karaikal. Ranjitha’s poem must give him strength and make him survive.

“Human life is preciously fragile
Like the thinnest thread of pure silver
Wavering in the breeze
Like the tiniest flame
Flickering in the wind

Not once but twice has a thread been cut
A flame blown out
Once for a brother much loved and adored
Once for a mother sweet heart for all.
But human life is defiant
As mine now is.
I will survive, I know, I can
Shine as purely silver can
Blaze as brightly as fire does
Until my thread is cut
My flame blownout.”

Dear Sakthi, for your queries
And questions on death,
I have extensively quoted a poem
Composed by Ranjitha Mary, the
Only surviving heir of our professor
Colleague, who also happens to be
Our Association president.

Ranjitha is shattered, no doubt
By twin loss, first brother,
Later mother, but stubbornly strong
To survive with condour, courage
Without any rancour to any one.

Death does not discriminate between
The good and bad, young and old
Scholar and stupid, arrogant and mild
The unexpected tragedy,
An untimely Death of a kind soul,
A Helping soul
Benevolent and involved one too
Shook every one in the staff quarters
She made all the difference in life
By leading an active and productive life
While she was living.
From My Dateless Diary

Revisiting My Academic Depression: Part 3

I have only loved my life, books, and students
Children, family and parents.
This is the only mistake I have committed
On this beautiful planet.
But I have been punished more than
Disproportionately to the quantum of labor deployed .
In the act of loving more than the optimal level.
The irony is I have compounded this chaos
By subjecting myself to more punishment
Fully understanding their reasoned anger

The present is tense, future uncertain
Past of course imperfect,
All the time buried
In a heap of old papers, full of dust
Will everything end up only in dustbin?
Will I get liberation from all the academic debris?

When all organ of the body
Beg and plead for rest, almost as a
Habitual response, will there be any
Colour and festivity to life?

Parental geans sufficiently strong
to provide comfort in
Moments of despair and agony.
I know, I must go inward.

Like a typical economy,
Not to be tossed by overseas recession
Contemplate and meditate, to get peace
In life there is only pain, more pain
Than I have expected or bargained for

Towards the end there will be joy,
That’s what people say, at least at the end.
End means what?
End of life here or final days of life?
Or time after death?
Time – the marginal time before going to sleep?
Or the blissful and peaceful sleeping time?
To get that blissful joy ,
One need to steal some deep sleep

Prolonged sleep during day time, the wrong time
A great deal of tiredness and laziness
Still haunt me like ghosts,
More forcefully and feverishly,
I must slowly learn the art of getting out of this mess.
Going to bed early, with less anxious thoughts
And getting up also early,
To see the rising Sun
Might give some extra time for reading and stretching
A little, both physically and academically.

Ultimately everything is for good.
If they are not for good,
Why should they happen?
Just because we do not want it,
Can we succeed in averting them?
Let the wheel of karma,
Rotate and the fleeting fortunes embrace
The brave and the bold,
The dynamic and the organized
The disciplined and enterprising.

You shall remain content with the
Simplest pleasures of life,
Soaked in daily suffering,
Treating it as an express way
For realizing your own self
Without any complaint.
From history you should know that
No Depression could last long
Than the time allowed for it.
Better times may come.
Until then wait and watch
Without allowing yourself
To be hijacked any devilish force

Revisiting My Academic Depression: Part 2

While recollecting in tranquility,
The whole life appears to be
An exercise in futility
An exhibition in the art of showcasing suffering
And suffering only.
Indeed more suffering even while floating in happiness.
A perpetual battle with the limbs and knees
A virtual surrender to the forces of nature

Prolonged neglect of career concerns,
The crude unintended indifference to family and children
Their consequent inner conflicts
And emotional outbursts on either side
A gross failure on the financial side and so on
All have tossed and turned the life
Into a tailspin of anxiety, anger and
Utter helplessness.

True, there are people
To lend a helping hand
But I am not able to move
And taken even a first step
When the necessary condition fails
Where is the scope for sufficient condition ?

It appears as if,
Everything is over,
Many a time I feel
Has the time come
To say good bye
And make a retreat
Suddenly I feel I have become old
An explicable distaste for my own subject
Distance growing with each passing moment
Find it difficult to believe?
Even I am not able to believe myself
Why I did learn? What I did learn?
For whom? What’s the residual knowledge or wisdom?
Questions of this sort
Should not have been raise by me
There’s an awareness of academic greed.
Having overstretched beyond potentials
Should I draw limits now?
Or has it been drawn already
By the cruel and wicked fate.
Unmindful of what I will do
Or will not do in future
I will always have the desperate feeling
I have not done justice to myself
Or to my subject, which
I embrace more passionately.

In my multiple roles as a
Son, teacher, husband and father
Where was the shine?
Why the hell, a reasonably good role
Of teacher could not be carried forward
To the other spheres of activity?
How could you be so foolish?
Not to take care of both parents
And finance. ?
Forget finance .
How could you ignore the aged parents
Craving for your nearness and love
But not explicitly told
But implicitly built into their heartbeat
With all the love at the bottom of your heart,
Why didn’t you spend time with them
Even while you were with them
How did the better half
Develop such a bitter experience?
Not to be noticed and to be addressed
For a longish period ?
Why was I irrationally angry
With my wonderful and vibrant mother?
Her hard work,
That spirit of dynamism and
Hyper enthusiasm for work
when will I internalize?
Will the residual lingering years,
Infuse more labor in academic calendar?
Creating magic and miracles
For the larger academic good in the society
I don’t know.
I am not very optimistic
Despite all my craving for honest reading
And serious writing

Revisiting My Academic Depression: Part One

These lines were written somewhere in the early 2000s when I was denied my legitimate due on the academic side . Although I successfully negotiated that kind of deep recession and wrote poetry, I had a feeling of guilt that I could not translate my academic potentials into concrete writings, a feeling which still continues in amore refined fashion. This only shows that all the people are not destined to be great writers, however talented they are. I know I can remain only as a participant in the game , a fan , a child , a critic, a commentator but not a great creator. This sense of realization by itself is really consoling although it will not comfort my academic nerves. Absorbing and assimilating by ordering and organizing my academic debris is a long drawn out process like price adjustment in classical model. I will not abandon my hope . If my eyes and knees could help me, and if a helpful soul typing this posting could lend a helping hand , it should not be difficult to deconstruct and integrate in not too distant future. At this age I cannot run fast. But I still think that it is not too late now. Earlier I use to think that I will never make it . The naked truth is just that . But I will sincerely try to make the academic miracle to happen again and again in the reminder of my life time, really a bonus time.

I have written to you, on many occasions
I don’t know its utility or relevance
There’s only a feeling of despair and helplessness
Swelling in my heart and mind
The feeling of having lost in a battle
Of love and friendship.


When daily living becomes just a struggle
Torn between hostility and heightened depression
Successfully thriving every day,
Relying on reasoned sense of humor
By itself is an event,
Each moment more Precious
In opportunity cost sense.

With all my love for reading and also writing
I must have read more, articulated more
Filled the paper with more inks
With all critical comments under the Sun.
But alas!
I was not destined to be.

Each day passed on like time spent in prison
Not in deep contemplation or meditation
On life in general
And of course my discipline in particular
A subject of my passion and concern
How did that sense of alienation,
Feeling of frustration visit me,
Imprison me and paralyze me?

How could I yield and meekly surrender
To the dictates of depression
An all pervading gloom and despair
And could not make any meaningful recovery.
Should I blame my time?
Karmic effect or sheer laziness
Or lack of Inertia and dynamism?

One long year an exalted privilege
A golden opportunity
The most precious time in my life
Was just consumed away by worrying
Thinking thoughts, not worth recollecting
Or ruminating
Maximization function were applied
To the universe of suffering
More foolishly and feverishly

The seemingly plausible task,
Became more daunting and intimidating
Rocking me in a roller coaster ride
More ‘downs, less ‘ups’
So naturally ended up ‘upset’ many a time

When Intelligence is hijacked by Hormones-Santosh Kumar.P, H.R.Professional writes:

Dear Sir,

I was going through your recent post, “fusing friendship into love & sex – an ideal medicine for peace & bliss”. In the recent times, the news channel flashed a hot news on one swamiji’s leela, clandestinely taken by camera. 14th Feb Valentines Day, was also made into an issue by some political parties in India; I have been thinking on this question, for quite sometime.

I feel that more than celebrating Valentines Day, there is an imperative need for educating the young minds on love and Sex which are designed by the super power for a healthy and happy life. The rule of the nature is, every specie living on this planet atempts to reproduce and hence human beings are also not an exception. The present young generation, in a large measure takes life for granted and they want to do whatever they want with their body, unmindful of the consequences. Because, they are of the opinion that with advancement in the medical technology, there is a cure for everything.

I am a management graduate and also possess knowledge on human psychology & my wife is a Gynecologist. What I would like to communicate to the younger generation especially the opposite sex is that what happens to their body before marriage is important and they should not experiment too much, as westerners do.

The young generation is being exposed to sex at the young age of 10 to 12 thanks to the access to internet. If you go through medical records in recent times the number of cases of abortion is more with unmarried females: this includes both educated & uneducated females in cities & villages between the age group of 18 and 25. The figure is only an under estimation, as the private practicing doctors don’t release the exact data.

But young girls are unable to understand what would happen to their health in later years of their life. Due to abortion or taking birth control pills...etc before marriage, many problems like miscarriage, breast cancer, cervical cancer, urinary infection…etc., take place after marriage. It’s important to understand that the female body is made of chemicals or Hormones that play their role. .Multiple affairs with partners before marriage have their own consequences. Later they know the importance of the relationship between husband & wife & of the parenthood. We see so many divorce within few years after marriage. I am not saying that sex & sexuality are bad or dirty; they are perfectly fine only when they are conducted in a conducive atmosphere of healthy family life, and not before marriage.


There are so many medicines or drugs available in the market; companies show very good advertisement, but they never picture the side effects of the drug & how it causes damage later to the body. We may take the drugs to rule over the act, but later the drug will be ruling your life. Then feeling sorry for life has no meaning. The present generation has a lot of confidence that they can achieve whatever they want in life, but what is required is to know more about life, and follow some ethics in life.

In one of the interviews of Sadhguru Jiggi Vasudev, when asked about by one who is thinking all the time about sex , the swami said that there is nothing strange about it and it is just that his intelligence has been hijacked by his hormones.

Watch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNMKdrEVhsk (www.ishayoga.org )
The Younger generation has to understand the rules of life. There is a lot to enjoy in married life and don’t get misled in the teens. Request for the parents: They need to spend more time with their children & discuss the issues rather than watching tele serials on TV; they should treat them like friends & the parents must see that their children get married at 26years:Late marriage will have their own set of problems :career is also important , but life is more important than anything else.
What is missing today is the communication between children & parents. There is so much to learn from our Indian heritage & culture. Parents should make their children to learn any classical music instrument or Yoga or classical dance right from their childhood without affecting studies .This kind of active life will give them the confidence, maturity & discipline in life during their adolescent years.
As the wording goes, Your Wisdom is, as vast as sky…, You have filled life around you, with wonders & loveliness.., You make our world Beautiful, You give love in the form of Sister, Friend, Beloved, Wife, in the form of Mother, in the form of Grandmother & .so on.

Rising Sun and Walking Beauty

The sun was slowly rising in the east
Like a red orange
A tall lady in deep blue saree
Was marching ahead of me,’
Along with a short, aged lady
Conversing on physics and spirituality.

With all grace and poise,
A Stern looking face,
A light bright smile radiating it
She could not escape my
Attention and concentration.
Alternating my eye between the
‘Rising sun’ and ‘walking beauty’ who was
In the twilight of upper middle age,
I was appreciating both God’s wonderful,
Marvelous creations.

As a Supreme Artist, He was
Painting the ‘Red Sun’ with all
Festivity and fervor.
The other creation
Looking more like a painted picture with all its
Infinite variety of color and complexion
Something like an eternal beauty.

While she was moving like a gentle breeze
I was moved by the
Technological marvel of God.
Like the rising pleasant Sun,
She also lingered in my memory
After she was gone
Did not one poet say,
“Past can’t be a false memory”
It is true by any standard
In any situation

Given the ageing process,
To keep the life machine going,
I must walk, enjoy it
And get energized by it
Occasional glimpses of this kind
Of divine beauty, and of course
Watching sunrise/ sunset
Meeting school friends and so on
Are additional bonus.
Having been beaten on all tracks
And tasted cumulative bitter events
Incidents and memories,
It’s better for you to
Take refugee in simple yoga,
Stretching and breathing exercises.
A very old foreign lady was practicing yoga
Doing like tapas,
Easily and effortlessly.
I told to myself,
Get tuned by her,
And not
Get lured by the middle age beauty
Which in any case,
To be beholden by eye
And appreciated and just that.

But, all said and done,
As long as the earth rotates,
We shall marvel at all
God’s creation, for they are just
Wonderful and blissful