pain of love lasts more than the pleasure; the resulting sadness and barrenness is incredible

It is all about love transmitted to the familiar ones, near and dear but not reciprocated; abundant love thrown out but met with a casual indifference. Time heals all the sorrows and the emotional turmoil resulting from the separation will slowly subside.

I can understand how people suffer by loving blindly and possessively and virtually taking a ride  without  realizing the ramifications on the other side. Whatever may be the cause or circumstances the crude reality is pain of love lasts more than the pleasure that it yielded once. It is very difficult to explain the pain and describe the situation. 

Will time wipe away all the pleasant feelings and finer sentiments? What seemed to be real at one point of time can hardly become illusion in  the present? Even if there is residual one can cling and live with some hope that everything is not lost.

Mirza Ghalib captures this existential dilemma of those whose only fault is jut loving and loving only without any expectation. He says :

Oh! The incredible sadness that is so intertwined with unrequited love. With the deepest sigh in your heart for the person you love is met with a casual nonchalance…..it is just so unbearable.How does one describe it?

All of us need love and friendly smile and kind words as they are 'few bright threads in the dull fabric of life.'

The other day I wrote a few lines from Thomas Murray for young children. Children are not only stubborn and aggressive some time and they seek purity  of attention. Yes, they need to be noticed and appreciated because they want it and crave for love and approval. They are also possessive. Love locked into our hearts does not reach them unless it is told. It is like a letter written but never posted.

Now a day we do not even write letters but scribble an e mail  in a hurry which is not a substitute for the traditional paper which carried our emotions. In this dehumanized age and hi-tech world, we tend to rein in emotions. We withhold words of love, admiration and approval. How can others know unless we tell them?

It is not just children all of us badly need words love and affectionate smile to fill the void to help fill the vacuums in life so as to come out of depression and despair. I am sure, with the exception of a few  most of us have not done justice to our parents  in one important respect ie we have not sat and spent time and listened to them when they were alive 

Regardless of your age and background- be it intellectual or financial  you are an emotional  being  and hence you need love and affection and recognition for the work. Sweet and gentle words, friendly eyes and purity of attention to children’s woes and their loneliness, will make them energetic. A few words like,”I love you. I am proud of you I am glad you are here” will give more happiness. They are really “ few bright threads in the dull fabric of life.”

stormy weather here and elsewhere and my grandson on the facebook made me think THOMAS MURRAY

For the past two days our region has been receiving some rain with thunder and lightning in the night; the weather is cool and pleasant in the night but in the day time it is still hot. In Adelaide too, there was storm and heavy rain. My grandson enjoys the rainy season and  I do not know how he feels there. After having seen his face in the FB my thoughts revolved around not just him but many young children, their worries and concerns ,fears and imaginations dreams and desires especially when they find themselves in a new environment.Since they are children they adapt themselves effortlessly. And yet there will be a secret desire in their subconscious mind to see the old faces and hear their voices. Their advantage today is that they live in virtual world and communication channels are wide open. But it is always better that they should delink for a while so as to absorb into the new soil for their growth.

Fortunately for him there is no school but by a strange quirk of fate he does not have company to play at home; a few children are there but far away and that he gets a chance to meet once in a while .My boy’s advantage is that he has understanding parents and hence he is escaping from the injection of the academics into his head . parents are his world.

There is a dilemma for young kids below five or six which language they should concentrate or focus upon. When Indian children are forced to read everything in English as if they  were born in UK we can well imagine the complexities in a foreign soil where you have to breathe in English with their accent. At the same time one cannot ignore the roots –the mother tongue. To some extent my boy was lucky to be in his native soil for the first three years and some minimum spoken Tamil he must have  already grasped. Slowly he will get exposed to the academic climate there and get used to it.

Before I conclude I feel like taking a few words and sentences from  and  Thomas Murray to make the children know what they ought to know when they grow up; in what follows I condense a few of his sermons as a sample:  

what I want  my children to know and  realize that life is not lived in lifetime or even seasons but in  sunny morning and snowy afternoon.I want my children to understand that the world is about people, that we will get from them no more than we give ,that we will always be happier human beings when we love than we hate, when we help than when we hurt.

 I want them to know that almost everyone can achieve whatever he thinks he can achieve. I want a child to understand that if he believes in himself, he can use his energy to work towards what he wants to be or do and not In wondering whether he is good enough to try. For worry will wear him out as fast as work and worse will tie him to the starting line.(note:my second grand daughter was instrumental for typing and the theme was defined when I saw arjun on the FB)

on talking less, working more and reducing BP : auto suggestion for me

Please leave me alone. Let me remain locked in my room and be with books; they will give more joy and peace like my school friend- village friend. Who is my best friend? Will there be any worst friend if you have chosen good friends earlier? We  meet some in every phase of life .All of them cannot be friends

In times of crisis who is better?  Friends or Relations Or God? Young children will lighten your heart! I have switched off the mobile.  You cannot reach me through landline as it is in upstairs and I am not there now ;I will neither talk nor listen. Silence and solicitude for sometime at least?. Yes. Can you practice it? Why not?

Please leave me alone. I have had a great comparative advantage in speaking …non top … talking too much

The other day,a  charming old lady , in the sixties  ,told affectionately  like a headmistress treating me as a school boy   “you are talking too much “.Just 45 min association was sufficient for her to judge me rightly, stunned by my  aggressive speech on the stage .no doubt,    she was appreciating  but  also cautioning that I must slow down  and leave things to God to manage the world  .was she my savior?  An angel sent by the supreme?

Perhaps yes. She was telling  the obvious ie I should bother about my health and I am not carrying the burden of the world ;anger against the system  and my helplessness in taming it.

The side effects of talking too much will be a rise in BP. It is a lesson to all. Long ago RD carried a piece talk less and reduce BP;  then why do want to talk?

When this question was raised to somebody who was a scholar he replied simply:  I want to hear my voice again and again. All of us want and everyone can not  just do that and those who can do must moderate .

Prof SAM ,  meditate on kural and Keynes   and of course  currency crisis….you are born to accomplish a lot in diverse fields without much plan or order.sit on the bed or near the desk  write. You are not running away from the role of care taker…spend time with your first love and also the second love-much wounded love, but pure love, ailing for long but fighting tenaciously with stoic smile and indomitable courage. Green grass carpets the earth. Rain clouds quench the thirst. The coconut tree takes sweet water from below and delivers through its head…Talk less   do not talk at all .Be a man of deeds  and not  words;  do more work;   move away from vague and pompous  and befriend the humble and honest and the number will shrink and you will not misallocate time.

And always measure your steps and enjoy reading everything under the Sun. you are indebted to earth. You cannot afford to exit/quit without completing the assigned task.wlii lord help fight your enemies from within and take you to the desired destination?

Doubt and faith and a discourse on girl friend : revisiting college days

‘What  really is doubt and what is faith/doubt creates the darkest moments in our finest hour while faith brings  the finest moments in our darkest hour’, goes a spiritual saying.

I do not know how many of you have had the darkest hours and  or solid faith.I know I am a doubting Thomas and I did not have much romance with temples    but I have had fleeting and flirting relationship with the superior plane thanks to my childhood friends. Despite my ambivalence or rather indifference I had a tremendous faith in the supreme.It might look like a contradiction but it is not because I am not for rituals and somehow anger against the creator was always lingering and there is no shyness in admitting that

 When I stood first in  BA at Tagore Arts college and state first and later after 2 years, first class and first rank at Madras presidency College ie when I was just 20 plus  I was sure that this was the magical realism of the Unseen and the divine had ordained this due to some cause and effect. Later when so many intricate and unexplainable problems did crop up I did ask the question why  Me ?  and wrote many pages of poetry and finally accepted the pain of reality.

It is not just academic or financial or domestic matter wherein I had understood the presence of the destiny ; in the most important teenage period  HE saved  me through  DR MU VA novels. And of course good child hood friends were there as protective wings. The correlation between intelligence and the sensuous side is well known and fortunately I negotiated the vicious curves and bends on the super highway of my college life away from village home. Fear and brought up were the insulators against all seductive influences.very easily I cold have gone astray  but The goodness of the universe saved me like a mother.; and the subject illed the void and it is still saving me

In our group of five man army at presidency  I was the only shy boy who did not have a girl friend. The other girls used to say .’why you have brought this samiyar also?”.I took it as a complement then and I cannot relish it now   . It was a plus point for me at that  time  but now when I type this I feel rather reluctantly that I missed something in life. What is so special about a girl Friend especially at a very young age? Those who were lucky to have one(applicable to girl also but she will not talk openly but carry the burden for ever deep into heart) can  alone know this  and ruminate over it  during old days…  I started with doubt and Faith and I feel that I have been leaning on the latter with experience and ageing process.

 Paper on the future of Euro was sent successfully with the assistance rendered by my research associate who is a banker in DELHI. Girl or family is insignificant before Macro or monetary.  It is not strictly a correct statement as I have written elsewhere Macro was more like a girl friend in a typical world of fantasy. My youngest daughter right from day one treated me as her first boy friend

Those who have treated economics dry and boring subject mistakenly (i wanted to write foolishly) will curse me and I will take it as a blessing  because they only know how love affair with eco is very difficult to handle and manage!I must thank my better half –the second wife for having abandoned me in order that I will have more time with economics.Now tamil is competing with it and both will merit attention.   Who says love will come only once?

I request my FB readers to take the last sentence rather lightly and just laugh away your problems and for that matter we shall take life as it evolves and not worry too much  because God says : I will share your burden

‘ English  is exacting. Tamil is terrorizing. Mathematics     is muddling, physics is lethal, chemistry is confusing Biology is befuddling. History is hell and geography   is stupefying.’

Guess who said this /It is very difficult to say as it was not told by any celebrity figure. This was actually a lamentation of 10 th standard student. I do not remember where and when  did I come across this interesting sentence I do not remember.

Although this letter is addressed to my grand children ,this is also meant for any young child in primary or middle school or even high school .Recently I read about a girl who had a higher  level of IQ  and mastered the college level stuff even while  she was in a school .She could join effortlessly in university in a foreign country I suppose it is the U. S.Exceptional brains  deserve this lift and exposure in an academically pregnant environment.

At school level one must study various subjects –the fndmentals, regardless of  one’s own  taste as one should know everything about something. The question of specialization will come at a later stage at plus 2 level and at that time some guidance might be needed from parents and teachers but the final decision must rest with the boy or the girl only.

Dear young minds .what do you want to become? It is too early but you can listen to your heart and of course your friends’ influence will be also there. In the information rich world your canvas is wide open and   you only need to press the button and thumb through the pages and get inspired by  the  talented .

When I was a young boy in school  and later at college English did not intimidate me and Tamil was my favorite .Mathematics was the weak spot .chemistry was fascinating in school but science was beyond my reach .but I was destined to muddle through first group in PUC –Maths, Physics and chemistry and somehow god saved me 

.

Without any idea I joined the club of Economics and it was like an arranged marriage- destined by god  .but romance did crop up and the boundless love ensued and I am surviving with that young girl(eco is still a young science and growing) who hardly complains about orgasm  .She makes me hungry where she satisfies.

The last Para you will understand when you end up with a good friend at the right age  and that scent/perfume will make your studies more meaningful

(Note, my second daughter typed when I dictated the first half and the latter part I typed after a deep sleep till 5 pm) i must go to beach now.

A few lines for me to activate myself towards work:i pray for sakthi from my sakthi square and the cosmos.

I am in mid-sixties.for reasons I am not able to fully understand  I feel dispirited , tired and feeling sleepy while reading during daytime. I do fully understand that lack of sleep during night may be the reason. I want to console myself and hence I write a few lines for me.

SAM   you have told many a time that you never feel old although you will be getting old. That is the spirit ;which  means life can be good, enjoyable and more pleasant after 60 plus. Indeed life begins  afresh now as there is no office pressure. Old age is as real as young age was once. We cannot fool ourselves that one can expect the power and beauty of the youth.

And yet  if you do work with much enthusiasm both physical and intellectual, you will feel young at heart. Your merit is that you can move with the  ordinary people and this social relation is a kind of social capital that will keep you in good stead. Seashore is a boon and you have not exploited it fully. See the roaring waves and hear the music of water and also smell the whisper of the wind; they are with you  and they secretly tell you that you must work and show to the supreme that you have fulfilled HIS  command. Being  a gifted child your energy can not be frittered away. The ailing wife is very bold and she is a role model for you; repay your debt to her

There are problems to sort out and you need to set right the financial house in proper order. You must build up the stamina by doing more work at home. Rearranging the books  and writing daily  will take you to a higher plane. Enjoy  the moment and let there be more movement and have a good temperament and altitude to negotiate any unexpected but often unsettling changes that may visit you on the path of life. Grand children will breathe fresh energy and they are your constructive critics. Listen to them.

With the new assignment of future of euro . you  also cultivate a little ambition. Selectively your boy at Delhi will play a supportive role. Thank your small girl for typing on post Keynesian economics. Your girl friend   eco will romance with you perpetually. Pray for the entire humanity. Nature will listen to you

My youngest granddaughter attempts to narrate a tale on power of love from memory:An exercise in typing and also writing

It  was typed by my second grand daughter priya Dharshini from memory  to get the feel of both writing and typing just now .I only did some minor correction.I do not know whether it is from her lessons or some other book .it is only  an exercise for her  and she has a good memory and neat hand writing  i hope this will motivate the elder one too to try the art of story telling.without her permission i am putting it in this blog to surprise her .now the story as she has typed from memory:

The great Zen teacher Benzie had many pupils .one day a student was caught stealing. His classmates told the teacher about it .Benzie did not call the boy or punish him. A few days later the same boy was again caught stealing. Some of the students wanted to leave the school if Benzie did not punish the boy at once.

The teacher called the meeting of students. When they assembled he said to them:” you are good boys .you all know what is right and  what  is wrong. If you leave  the school you will have no trouble in joining another school. But what about your brother here ,[pointing to the boy who was caught stealing] . I have not punished him at once. If I don’t I cannot ask him to go. I have other plans to correct him ;that would take time . I would like all of  you to stay here. The boy who was caught  stealing earlier was in tears. He never stole again. Later in his life he became famous for his honesty.

Violence and vandalism have no place in federalism.Do not allow anti- nationals to dominate over mainstream parties

I hope all of you will agree  when I say  and suggest  that  Rain is nature’s benevolence; absence of which  is  human folly; trapping of it in a region where  it originates is a crime. Not sharing with the neighboring regions is more serious crime and  a negation of federalism and against elementary humanism.

Tamil Nadu had a better deal under British India under 1924 cauvery water agreement. Under independent India, rulers do not have time to address to people’s problem as they are too busy in touring the world and shaping foreign policy and or prioritizing all issues in terms of vote bank politics and  deploying  negative and intimidating tactics. The two mainstream parties have an inherent bias,  hatred  and jaundiced perception against TN, as they do not want to act according to law and dharma as they do not stand to gain in the election arena.

The federal government  -not this Modi’s Raj alone can be faulted as he is following the tradition and is keen to follow  please all policy  by internalizing Mr Manmohan’s  language of silence-  the entire establishment over many decades was the main /prime villain of the piece in precipitating the crisis by not carrying out the mechanism to monitor and regulate the flow of water cross the states. Centre has a responsibility to behave like a mother, not a step mother.

It is high time the party high command sacked the CM of Karnataka for his failure in managing the economy in crisis period and his stupidity in going to court by citing violence which he was supposed to control;  failing which the center must dismiss the government for having failed to prevent the people’s lives and property and maintain law and order. Violence and vandalism cannot be unleashed by fringe parties which do not represent or reflect the true Karnataka.United we stand and divided we fall .

 Mr Modi who is also PM for TN will act and warn the states that they must  behave well.He should go into the history that he was the one who did what others failed to do.

Intrest rate hike by the US is long overdue Will it take place sooner than later?

While Europe and Japan have their own residual recessionary tendencies and the terror triggered uncertainty  and political chaos compounding the economic difficulties  the US  is on  a stronger wicket .it has come out of the recession and it is marching towards  close to maximum employment .stable prices indicating  a  better inflation performance and better outlook for economic activities have strengthened the case for a hike in interest rates .

The Fed chief Janet yellen hinted this  in a recent international  gathering of the central bankers and academics. She said however that the worrisome trend is,invesment demand is weak and the export has beenI hit by the strong dollar and that consumption alone is the solid driver of growth .

it can be recalled that for nearly a decade  the interest rate was kept at a ridiculously low level and only last December the Fed raised interest for the first time. Because of the global slowdown  and volatility in financial markets the subsequent increase in the rate  has been put off.

In the last eight years  We have had the central bankers attempting to stimulate economies  by cutting interest rates to near zero and flooding the banks with cash and more liquidity in the  economy. Soon the world also has to confront the long term  consequences of  of this ultra easy money policy and the ramification on inflation and exchange rates

The interest RATE AND EXCHANGE RATE CYCLE caused by the U S periodically will have more intensity in future so long as there is uncoordinated economic policies. It I also time the debate on globalization was revisited as the darker side of it is fully learnt both by the developed world

Recollecting Mahe trip in tranqulity:Meeting a few students was a bonus in life.wi mahe make me hungry in future too when it satisfies now?

Like the first love, first poem and the first kiss,which no one can forget, to me personally the first batch of my students  I adore most in my life .It so happened that for more than 40 years I could not go back to the region which gave me a job and some training in teaching. The first  alumni meet was held last year September and after 43 years I saw my old young students who had crossed above sixty now.Kodiyeri Balakrishnan the former home minister of kerala our first batch iii group student was the special invitee   and this year I found myself again here for two days after attending a conference at St Joseph college, Payyanoor.

Pushpajan and Rajan were informed earlier and they took care.The unexpected hartal did not allow me to visit Thalaserry.Sitting near the sea and ruminating over the past in a typical monsoon time was an experience by itself.Le café provided Iddli  vada and a good working lunch.By strange quirk of fate I met  kumaran, Soman,Premnath, and a few others on the Mahe walk path.Premnath told that sreedhan will come the next day

Pavithran, Rajan, and sreedharan used to sit in the front bench and sreedharan who completed MA literature surprised me by quoting a few from memory what I told in the class(70-72).

Sir, let me tell a few words- the arresting words and sentences you uttered in the class.  ….when one fellow was throwing an arrow towards a girl you told:

You think that you are a hero

Who can send arrow which

I cannot notice/see but

I can not only see that ,but also foresee that

After the exam is over you will be a zero

Referring to  a  student who refused to answer the question but kept on  laughing in the class how I lost control and shouted, he recalled:”when you are showing the teeth, something is burning in my heart”.

In the lecture on the evolution of money you told:”Man made money and afterwards money made man mad’

Sir,In the second year I was late in coming and sometimes not coming the college  and then you told  me:’Sreedharan  you are not what you were in the first  year   now a days you are regularly irregular”

And yet You used to appreciate me by saying that I am the one to grasp  in the first hearing   but sir  now I am not able to get in the first hearing but only in second or third.Premnath explained that he has hearing ptoblem.I could sense and feel the sense of humor.I could not spend more time with him as I had to leave with Pushpajan expected at any time and I wanted some breathing time to get ready.The previous day Rajan spent the whole evening with me along with his friend throwing a typical kerala food with fried fish and fish curry and many other things.

The magical spell of mahe will be a part of my self and I am grateful to the supreme for the economics breathed into my veins thro my teachers  chief among them is Prof.Sasankan from Kerala.I remember all of them on the eve of Teachers day