This is what poet Bharathi thundered.

Translating  a few lines:

When  confronted  with those who tread on adharma path and  commit  acts of sin and  offend your finer sensibilities,

Do not be afraid  my dear sweet girl

Head on smash and crush them my girl..

You spit on their face..

We need poet Bharathiyar  and Ambedkar and Periyar   all combined  together  to terrorize  the evil and dark forces  which are divisive  and destructive  of the lives of ordinary  people  .

This is the essence  of the righteous  anger which  all of us must imbibe. 

you should have lived more with little pain

Like children in thy school  of love

The alphabet  of love we learn;

Along thy path to death I move

And I am glad; I  will  not  turn. 

A  J  Arberry

Three years have gone since you have  chosen  to live

Without  the old clothes..

Are you at peace and  you came  in the dream  yesterday .

I was angry and your absence  made me uneasy 

Then you showed your face wryly  smiling  with satisfaction .

I am amazed by boundless  love for you after you ceased to exist 

Now  I exist  with  all my cravings  for your nearness and warmth...

Like a child  I cry  for you and my parents..

You should  have lived  more

I should  have loved more

Even  while  your possessive  love  was causing  an endogenous  disturbance. 

We must have  struck  a delicate  balance while  tasting  the wine of life..

We were entitled  for more dignity  and  delight. 

My dear, my life  and my fire

We all remember  your saintly  silence  and posture for more than a day....wilfully  chosen  or by default  of fate...

You didn't  allow  my academic fire to extinguish 

Although  it did affect  our life inadvertently...

I am  trapped  by my lustful  love at serene  seventy..

You have left me alone and unhappy. 

Will you light the lamp of compassion  and grace into my heart,

with your your child like glance  of  innocence  and  bliss..

And help me to tread on a righteousness and virtue as a code of my life

You should  have lived more

We should  have loved more

An angry man who ventilated despair in poetic prose.

All through  his life he remained  as  Reader.see his naivety  and plain foolishness 

After  a quarter century  of service  already  on Reader scale  did  not hesitate  to  join  as Reader as only  that post was advertised...

He remained  content  in teaching  and  writing  what  was relevant. The Hindu  Business  Line  opened  a new vista  and  he continually  provided  a critical  commentary  on contemporary  developments  in the domestic  and  international  economy 

Today  when  he looks  back and attempts  to compile  those essays  on economic reform  and exchange  rate economics  under the title   From  Marx To Market  and Other  Essays  on Manmohanamics he feels  immensely  happy  and  amply  rewarded 

For the last many  years this project  is getting  delayed. 

While  dsambandhan  was fully  appreciative  of the invisible  hand of the competitive  forces  of market  and the Smithian  self  interest  he was also  equally  conscious  of the oppressive  and disruptive  character  of market  which is sometimes  assisted and  colluded  with the irresponsible  and malign  state  for the pecuniary  consideration  of the vested  interests..

At a time when  Nehru as an architect  of modern  India  is ridiculed  and  undermined and post demonetization and GST  ECONOMY  followed  by inadequate  economic  response  to covid  disaster all leading to economic  ruin  and   more dissension  and  religion  also adding  fuels  to the fire

It is felt that  some reworking  must be done and  do some revisiting  through  the lens of Bus.Business  line essays. 

Dsam is  attempting  to breathe  in the necessary  oxygen and if God wills  in a matter of months  it should  see the light  of the sun...

It's  is his firm belief  that those essays  were not written  merely  in a journalistic  perspective  but with all  rigorous  economics  and  students   the serious  students  and  also teachers  will be appreciative  of the work 

Being  a man  of perfection  the more he refines and  polishes the  introduction  and  the postcripts he gets distanced  away. He hopes that  as there are many semi processed  and fully  finished  materials  waiting  in the wings I must clear one by one so that liberation  process begins from  August..dsambandhan  @50.

Looking forward at Adelaide on 6 August 2020: dsambandhan@50

When I cancelled the U S trip scheduled for a fornight and got ready for my second visit to Adelaide in November 2019,I was mentally prepared for a long stay and return ticket was booked for May.The intervention of the semi virus which paralysed the economic activity world wide did upset all the plans and the rescue efforts made in March or April were too late and my grandson  was glad that  the black old man would be a part of his Birthday celebration in mid June..

Change of weather and pleasant autumn and winter did have an unsetling effect and it was a  new experience for me.For the first time I felt that I was no longer young and that old age was just catching up and hence I should be ready to accept the reality without being trapped into any anxiety or fear..A lot of poems were written, many movies mostly Malayalam ones were seen and forgotten and Tamil books merited more attention and Norwood Library gave some solace...

But in the unconscious mind the longing to see the house and carass the books in my home town was always there..Most importantly my critical inability to convert my handwritten notes into the machine and later into the net had haunted my mind and this  acdemic uneasiness seven years after my retirement was perplexing.was it because of 6 August, 2020?

World is not waiting for me to write. but I know that God has given additional bonus time for a purpose and he will question me when my time or turn comes...This self imposed or self inflicted objective instilled a fresh wind and with the new found enthusiasm took break from face book and contemplated on the task to be completed .The best way to celebrate the 50 years of Academic madness and goalless life led thus far ,was to restart the engine and resume the romance with the dollar and in just 2 hours I wrote without much supportive  notes..Later oneday unable to sleep after 3 43 started writing down a small list of the works which need to be completed if God wills..

Having lived with books and also cultivated the habit of writing in note books and now getting used to typing with two fingers, I felt that the residual time must be invested in a manner which will ensure good health and a sense of well being no matter what's going to be its academic spillover.To get out of the depression I recalled the face of one scholar in Loyola College who showed all the paper cuttings of my articles in Business Line..

I am a solitary reaper.Despite my best attempts to rope in partners I could not get positive response as I was an illiterate in quantitative techniques and other tricks...I must hasten to add that there are still a few of my students not direct ones who are in top positions and also in limelight who do  bother me and discuss sometimes on exchange rate economics...

My professor Sasankan from Manacud Trivandrum used to say that Economics is nothing but common sense made difficult by professors in the classroom..

I am not updated  now.I can't read more .But a few of my students regularly goad me by sending the links and also putting questions.

I am giving auto suggestions to myself that dsambandhan is only @ 50 and that  70 is just a number which denotes age for record.post retirement was academically fruitful.

Thanks to my student friends who are now professors and my guardian Dr B Kamaiah I had the privilege of being a part of Economics conclaves in Pune Gokhale Institute,2014 and Hyderabad central university,2015 and  also be a part of demonetization debate along with C P Chandrasekhar in Kerala University ,2016/17. 

With my soulmate saying goodbye in 2017 and spending my time in South Australia in 2017end and 2018 beginning and 2019 end and almost major partof 2020special year I am trying to read and type every day from August ...

The woods are dark and deep and the weather is benign and before the commercial flight starts I want to settle down and be ready for mytake off in the Academic sky.. Economics is only one side and there are many things to see and do and enjoy every moment of life...My celebration of life has begun at 50 and I am grateful to the supreme for having given me the excellent teachers and affectionate but demanding students...kural says that it's easy to say but accomplishment , translating the goals into reality  is very difficult....Let us move along with the current and navigate without much expectation and anxiety.we can only do what's destined and also what we are capable of...Yes. .. remaining in the battlefield matters most than winning the war...for we will not die while we are alive... That's is what I am aiming at.Thank you my friends.

The list reads like this

Books

From Marx to Market and Other Essays on Manmohanamics

What's Happening to world Money?

A few episodes in the U S dollar's journey as a world money.

Making Sense of the Currency crisis of 1990s

Essays in International Finance from Business Line

A Silent Soliloquy on campus politics:

The wild Tigers can't be caged

Understanding Globalisation and Towards An Alternative Globalisation:

Slim monographs:

A random reading of Marx's Economic and Philosophical Manuscripts of 1844:

My MPhil Essay

Insulation of a stable economy from exogenous economic disturbances:

An examination of Laursen - Metzler - Sohmen effect.

My phD seminar paper at Gokhale Institute of politics and economics.

On Social Cost of flattery and psychopancy in Assembly corridors and academic institutions:

With a sympathetic commentary on it by Professor Lenin Thangappa.

Prof John F Kyle's PhD thesis: Balance Of Payments in a monetary economy: A Review

The entry and purpose of Devaluation in a  Developing Economy, as a Keynesian Medicine

When will Devaluation Work?

A Rudimentary analysis of Purchasing Power Parity Theory: An Incomplete Review

Professor Paul Samuelson' s correction of David Humes ' Price Speice Flow Mechanism:

A Note Of Dissent.

On Pitfalls in the Art Of Macroeconomic Model Building for Open Economy:

Revisiting Sidney Alexander and Fritz Maclup Debate.

The Much Forgotten Monetary Approch To Balance of payments Theory: How did I waste a Few Months in my Fellowship days as Harry G Johnson did in his final days of life?

What Makes the Exchange Rate To Move?:

A Few Rough Explanations

How does Exchange Rate enter Into An Open Economy Framework:An exercise in Extending professor Yeager's Example.

What did I learn from the New Revelations of Paul Krugman on Exchange Rate Economics?

Does Exchange Rate work?

Living with Disequilibrium Exchange Rates:

A Fact Of Reality!

The Nexus Between Exchange Rate and Interest Rate:

The Famous International Fischer Effect.

The Theoretical Significance and Empirical Relevance of Dornbuch's Overshooting Model

China Plays Mischief with Exchange Rate:

A Lesson For Emerging Markets.

A Letter to My Thesis Supervisor:

Reflecting in Tranquility on Pune days and also my acdemic life.

Adelaide Diary 2017/2018

Adelaide Diary 2019/2020

Kamam Tender than Flower

And Stronger than Liquor:

Translating kural

Time Flies and The Rest is Lies

A collection of poems

As The Numbers Loved her

I loved my only girl friend:

I Missed You!

A collection of poems.

Translating Poet Bharathi and others :

I listened to my Instincts

prabanchan's short Story in Kalki

Translation

Short Story in Ananda Vikatan by 

Chokkan: Translation

Letters written to my Daughters and not posted

My Dateless Diary in Tamil and English:

Emotive Feelings ventilated for Relief

Modi as Brand Marketed well by Vested Interests

A Structural Retrogression in Indian politics?

Revisiting Keynes, Marx and C N Annadurai

On Empty Economic Spaces

Corana Deepens Inequality.

The list is not complete.... it's in the hands of supreme to goad me gently and also swiftly towards purposeful life of Academic work which will ensure good health and emotional equilibrium

Be beautiful for ever my dear

My dear 

Be happy  always 

That's  one way of being  wise

Be diligent  and intelligent 

That  will make you more  strong 

Be good  and do  good things 

Have a passionate  love to help others.

Be angry and impatient 

Be funny  witty  and  crazy sometimes. 

Dance  stretch your  body and relax 

Cultivate  skills  and  also righteous anger

Don't  hesitate  to stand up and speak 

Be a woman  of deeds and  just  words 

Live in truth  and honesty

Don't  allow  anyone  to mess up your  life 

Parents  do not own you

You have  only  come through  them

Blessed  are you

If you find your work and

also stumble  upon  a boy

Of your  choice  and liking 

No trade in love 

It's  just the magic  of eyes

Listen  to your heart

Brain  may cheat 

No cost  benefit  calculus 

Self confidence  and self respect  matters most

Believe  in the goodness  of the  universe 

Power  and beauty  will beckon  you

They  will  envelop  you for ever

At any age you will be beautiful 

For ever 

Say to yourself  

I am  beautiful  and  healthy 

Yes my dear

You are always  beautiful  and wonderful 

Are not our mothers  beautiful  always 

You are more like my mother 

You are incredibly  beautiful 

Scribbling  pad from  Adelaide  2020

Prelude to  dsambandhan  @50

education policy

I am the one who is in favour of learning in mother tongue as I had done so in my native village along with English as the second language from standard 3.Later Hindi became the additional third language which I studied till standard eleven and I had unusually a high level of proficiency in that language for a while.Fortunately the famous anti Hindi agitation in 1965 questioned the imposition of Hindi and  Nehru assured that Hindi will not be imposed on non Hindi speaking population.Despite passing Prathmic ,I had the finer sensibilities to join the anti Hindi bandwagon.i was matured enough to understand that no single language could be allowed to dominate and bulldoze other languages which were richer.

Where do I stand now when the new education policy is announced with a lot of Indianness appearing in many places.

Although studying in one's own mother tongue is good and it must be welcome the ground level reality is that many state governments have not equipped their local languages with updated books and to add insult to the injury English is undermined in the new scheme of things in the name of Indianness and homogenisation process.

 We must remind the deaf and the dumb and say that India is a continent comprising of states with a lot of diversity and heterogeneity in language art culture and traditions.There is nothing like Indianness that you can crow about.

Furthermore the stakeholders are the students parents and teachers whose preferences and choices matter most as the prime objective is not just to gain knowledge but to get jobs and also equip oneself adequately to stand on his legs  and become a self employed or emerge as entrepreneurs..The architects of new education policy thunder that this will lift india from deprivation to development and from seeking job to creating job and so on.

The so-called professionalism and the focus on national languages and the Indianness are the logical derivatives of the clearly defined and well crafted strategy to undermine and dethrone the international language namely English.

Why there's more dissent  and consternation ? what's home language and national or regional language....since India is converted into Hindia and Hinduthuva has become the only creed to be permitted as Muslims are treated as enemies ,the next logical step for them is to bring in Hindi-isation process and promote this language in Hindi speaking states and establish a hegemony of power in a graduated manner

Though education is in the concurrent list and the centre can't simply bulldoze the domain of the state, the feverish enthusiasm towards Hindi-isation stems from the fact that many states are coming under the spell of BJP either by ballet manipulated or through buying or bullying legislators, let us call it political re engineering.This is nothing but saffronisation and sanskritsation to the detriment of the vast majority functioning under the decentralised system now.

Long ago C N  Annadurai told that besides Tamil, English is sufficient to interact both domestically and internationally.The revival of three language formula once again is an unwanted burden. .To me, a Tamil with the exception of sister languages like Malayalam, Telugu and 

Kannada ,all other languages are foreign.Indeed they are more foreign than the customised English language which is more native to me by training and its standpoint of utility.

Going by  my experience in the last 50 years of Academic life till 8th standard the mother tongue can be tried as a medium of instruction in each state along with English as the important second language and there's no need for any third language in the form of an extra luggage. You can only force the donkey to bear this kind of burden and not insist a horse which wants to run with maximum efficiency without being burdened by ideological cobwebs and outdated concepts in the name of homogenisation.

Post independent India has made remarkable progress with all our constraint and challenges.Sunder Pitchai  the CEO of Google is a standing example to showcase....Hindi naheem malum and I can reach to greater heights through English and my own creative energtic intelligence..

Sahuntaladevi is a movie worth watching for its narrative skill and the content of message.

By sheer strange quirk of fate I watched the movie twice in less than thirty six hours.The conflicts of interest between professional and personal life of the great mathematician whom the numbers loved is neatly captured.The genius sorry the mathematical wizard right from her childhood is autonomous and rightly considers herself as the father of the family and extremely angry and agitated with her mother for her stupidity in not raising her voice against her husband who is a failed man in life and a dependent on the young daughter for conducting the show and earning income.

The young girl is unable to digest the sudden demise of her sister for want of treatment in the face of father's indifference given his financial plight and takes vow that she will become a big woman and rule the world.

By a happy accident she travels the wide world and proves her ingenious skills with numbers and stumble upon a guy in Calcutta, an IAS officer a very decent down to earth good human, more understanding and less demanding and accommodative gentleman.

The story goes on like this with a series of flash back which does not confuse the audience.while the wizard conquers the world and makes a great fortune their child is taken care of by the father.

When Sahuntaladev hears the baby uttering the word Daddy and not Amma ,she takes the flight and takes charge of her daughter.

The mother who lost her childhood is repeating the mistake of rendering the same fate to her daughter when the latter becomes an appendage or luggage wherever she travels.

The child develops more heightened hatred towards mother with all wealth and affluence and she does not want to live under the shadow of her mother' s popularity.

Fortunately  the daughter gets into a boarding school and when the time comes for marriage alliance with Mother's approval the boy is insisted to join the family in London.

Having been distanced from dad for long the girl does not want to lose her love and by sheer  fate becomes mother though she did not want to be one like her mother.

Th mother and daughter understand each other towards the end  and both realise that with all bottled up love they have seen their mother only as mother and not as woman and they are what they are because of their mother

Vidya Balan is superb in bringing about the wit and and wisdom of the great mathematician .

Craving for perfect equality between husband and wife is easily said than done.The climax scene is  so touching that the mother plays with mathematical genius which once robbed of the happiness of both the husband and daughter

The lady says there's nothing to compare the joy she has found in the twinkling eye of her daughter and that's more than million pounds...

I have just told the skeleton of the story in a rudimentary way without being more critical.

I could smell and get the sound of my own family members raising an accusing finger that how a good teacher has failed as a good husband.

Yes as numbers loved her I loved economics.it is just a fact.i may not have been a quantitative economist but at a fundamental level and also some sophistication of theory I did justice to my first love which still mesmerizing me like my Tamil language which I had ignored for long

There's no free lunch.There is always trade off.There is a  clash of interest between professional and personal life

I did not strike any delicate balance as was the case with that great mathematician. No regrets.i could not have been otherwise