you should have lived more with little pain

Like children in thy school  of love

The alphabet  of love we learn;

Along thy path to death I move

And I am glad; I  will  not  turn. 

A  J  Arberry

Three years have gone since you have  chosen  to live

Without  the old clothes..

Are you at peace and  you came  in the dream  yesterday .

I was angry and your absence  made me uneasy 

Then you showed your face wryly  smiling  with satisfaction .

I am amazed by boundless  love for you after you ceased to exist 

Now  I exist  with  all my cravings  for your nearness and warmth...

Like a child  I cry  for you and my parents..

You should  have lived  more

I should  have loved more

Even  while  your possessive  love  was causing  an endogenous  disturbance. 

We must have  struck  a delicate  balance while  tasting  the wine of life..

We were entitled  for more dignity  and  delight. 

My dear, my life  and my fire

We all remember  your saintly  silence  and posture for more than a day....wilfully  chosen  or by default  of fate...

You didn't  allow  my academic fire to extinguish 

Although  it did affect  our life inadvertently...

I am  trapped  by my lustful  love at serene  seventy..

You have left me alone and unhappy. 

Will you light the lamp of compassion  and grace into my heart,

with your your child like glance  of  innocence  and  bliss..

And help me to tread on a righteousness and virtue as a code of my life

You should  have lived more

We should  have loved more