In the valedictory function of one training programme , I was pleasantly surprised by a girl (a woman of 37) who was known to me for one and half decades. I called her girl, because even with the passage of time, she looks like a girl. Currently she is a school teacher.
Once the function was over, I met the chief guest and spent sometime with him. It was just refreshing and satisfying for me just to see him and say hello. There were many other visitors with different agenda in their minds. I couldn’t freely talk to him. Sometimes it’s also good. From my side, I told a few good things that are on my way and he was glad to hear and I took leave.
As it was heavily raining I had to wait along with my young scholar friend. I didn’t pray for rain to stop, as rain God was performing his job to cool the summer. Who am I to interfere in his work? I patiently waited for the rain to subside and stop. At that time, that girl came and my youngest daughter also joined. To my daughter, she was telling how, I was known to her as teacher in PG Centre and so on. She had not changed much, the same talkative girl, with all assertiveness and independence.
I knew, she had undergone a major operation in the stomach and for reasons known to God sleeping in Heavens; everything was delayed in her life, job and marriage. I was hesitant to talk about her marriage. Later, I remembered that many years ago, she gave me marriage invitation. Everything was hazy in my memory. Still it was raining heavily. My young scholar friend was talking to another official. When the girl began to unwind her marriage and narrated that she had not lived even for a few days or rather spent some hours with her husband, it was more shocking and disturbing. Being a bold girl, talkative and highly sensitive, how she must have been managing the impossible, I pondered over.
The gentleman had married her after knowing all about her health conditions and all the compulsions associated with it. There was a clear gap of two months between betrothal and marriage ceremony. They liked each other. She couldn’t find any major problem with him. But after marriage, it did not click and everything changed. There was neither rhyme or music, nor song in life. She says that the days spent together were less and that could be counted and for the last seven years, she is alone.
Given a good parental genes, cultured behaviour and of course to maintain family honour, she is even willing to lick his shoes and prostrate before him, forgetting about all his inadequacies and short comings and be even prepared to resign her job and join him, but there is no reciprocation from the other side. I told her that job is more important and self respect is even more important and her seven years battle, living alone, tolerating the fire of separation, must have a logical end. I couldn’t advise what she must do. Indeed, with all her accommodative spirit, she has tried all possible routes to unite-atleast to live as a husband and wife and adopt a child……but the doors have been closed…… she can’t afford to remain in dark. Fortunately teaching young children should have given her solace and peace, although she finds it difficult to shout. Having learnt tolerance and patience and suffered more deprivation, she must enjoy the profession and turn her attention outward towards society…..what else one can do, when the fellow who married with Agni as the witness, has turned out to be a silent killer, by his sheer physical inadequacy and critical inability to understand her refined feeling and cultured behaviour?
Why should marriage, as an institution become a dead weight and burden, giving more pain eventually? Is there life sexual/sexual side? For many happening in life, there’s no readymade or profound answer. Many questions will remain as questions for ever, although, we must strive for solution, even while answer is elusive and out of reach. It’s easy to conclude with poetic touch. But, what’s the solution for this bold girl, who is in her midway of life. Having lost all the fire and flavour of life and the very prospect of taking steps every day will be full of struggle. A miracle, perhaps take place in her dreams. But to dream, one should sleep!
Once the function was over, I met the chief guest and spent sometime with him. It was just refreshing and satisfying for me just to see him and say hello. There were many other visitors with different agenda in their minds. I couldn’t freely talk to him. Sometimes it’s also good. From my side, I told a few good things that are on my way and he was glad to hear and I took leave.
As it was heavily raining I had to wait along with my young scholar friend. I didn’t pray for rain to stop, as rain God was performing his job to cool the summer. Who am I to interfere in his work? I patiently waited for the rain to subside and stop. At that time, that girl came and my youngest daughter also joined. To my daughter, she was telling how, I was known to her as teacher in PG Centre and so on. She had not changed much, the same talkative girl, with all assertiveness and independence.
I knew, she had undergone a major operation in the stomach and for reasons known to God sleeping in Heavens; everything was delayed in her life, job and marriage. I was hesitant to talk about her marriage. Later, I remembered that many years ago, she gave me marriage invitation. Everything was hazy in my memory. Still it was raining heavily. My young scholar friend was talking to another official. When the girl began to unwind her marriage and narrated that she had not lived even for a few days or rather spent some hours with her husband, it was more shocking and disturbing. Being a bold girl, talkative and highly sensitive, how she must have been managing the impossible, I pondered over.
The gentleman had married her after knowing all about her health conditions and all the compulsions associated with it. There was a clear gap of two months between betrothal and marriage ceremony. They liked each other. She couldn’t find any major problem with him. But after marriage, it did not click and everything changed. There was neither rhyme or music, nor song in life. She says that the days spent together were less and that could be counted and for the last seven years, she is alone.
Given a good parental genes, cultured behaviour and of course to maintain family honour, she is even willing to lick his shoes and prostrate before him, forgetting about all his inadequacies and short comings and be even prepared to resign her job and join him, but there is no reciprocation from the other side. I told her that job is more important and self respect is even more important and her seven years battle, living alone, tolerating the fire of separation, must have a logical end. I couldn’t advise what she must do. Indeed, with all her accommodative spirit, she has tried all possible routes to unite-atleast to live as a husband and wife and adopt a child……but the doors have been closed…… she can’t afford to remain in dark. Fortunately teaching young children should have given her solace and peace, although she finds it difficult to shout. Having learnt tolerance and patience and suffered more deprivation, she must enjoy the profession and turn her attention outward towards society…..what else one can do, when the fellow who married with Agni as the witness, has turned out to be a silent killer, by his sheer physical inadequacy and critical inability to understand her refined feeling and cultured behaviour?
Why should marriage, as an institution become a dead weight and burden, giving more pain eventually? Is there life sexual/sexual side? For many happening in life, there’s no readymade or profound answer. Many questions will remain as questions for ever, although, we must strive for solution, even while answer is elusive and out of reach. It’s easy to conclude with poetic touch. But, what’s the solution for this bold girl, who is in her midway of life. Having lost all the fire and flavour of life and the very prospect of taking steps every day will be full of struggle. A miracle, perhaps take place in her dreams. But to dream, one should sleep!
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