Revisiting My Academic Depression: Part 3

I have only loved my life, books, and students
Children, family and parents.
This is the only mistake I have committed
On this beautiful planet.
But I have been punished more than
Disproportionately to the quantum of labor deployed .
In the act of loving more than the optimal level.
The irony is I have compounded this chaos
By subjecting myself to more punishment
Fully understanding their reasoned anger

The present is tense, future uncertain
Past of course imperfect,
All the time buried
In a heap of old papers, full of dust
Will everything end up only in dustbin?
Will I get liberation from all the academic debris?

When all organ of the body
Beg and plead for rest, almost as a
Habitual response, will there be any
Colour and festivity to life?

Parental geans sufficiently strong
to provide comfort in
Moments of despair and agony.
I know, I must go inward.

Like a typical economy,
Not to be tossed by overseas recession
Contemplate and meditate, to get peace
In life there is only pain, more pain
Than I have expected or bargained for

Towards the end there will be joy,
That’s what people say, at least at the end.
End means what?
End of life here or final days of life?
Or time after death?
Time – the marginal time before going to sleep?
Or the blissful and peaceful sleeping time?
To get that blissful joy ,
One need to steal some deep sleep

Prolonged sleep during day time, the wrong time
A great deal of tiredness and laziness
Still haunt me like ghosts,
More forcefully and feverishly,
I must slowly learn the art of getting out of this mess.
Going to bed early, with less anxious thoughts
And getting up also early,
To see the rising Sun
Might give some extra time for reading and stretching
A little, both physically and academically.

Ultimately everything is for good.
If they are not for good,
Why should they happen?
Just because we do not want it,
Can we succeed in averting them?
Let the wheel of karma,
Rotate and the fleeting fortunes embrace
The brave and the bold,
The dynamic and the organized
The disciplined and enterprising.

You shall remain content with the
Simplest pleasures of life,
Soaked in daily suffering,
Treating it as an express way
For realizing your own self
Without any complaint.
From history you should know that
No Depression could last long
Than the time allowed for it.
Better times may come.
Until then wait and watch
Without allowing yourself
To be hijacked any devilish force