Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Part Eight –Summing up the Incomplete Letter

The series of preceding seven posts were my reflections when my aged mother was counting her days after the head injury. They were written at two stretches. For reasons which I am unable to recollect, I could not continue thereafter. I took leave and sat with my mother and administered food through tube. An attendant, a superb male nurse by name Bhaskar was more than God sent Angel, took care of the bed sore. The skin had decayed and delayed and bad odour could be smelt in the hall. The ordeal came to an end, two years ago on January 11,around 8.30 pm. When she left her last breath I was there to watch, with more composure and not losing balance.Especially when she was bedridden for more than a month, I realized how much I loved her, liked her and wanted her to live or a few more years.

Indeed, it would be very difficult for others to believe that more than me supporting her, she was only supporting and comforting me, while I was in a state of uneasiness and suffering for long,given the chaoitic situtation in my academic life during a particular period. She was hale and healthy: until the calamity struck her, she never fell ill. All her parameters were at right levels .Occasionally only I had seen her crying, while I scolded.Immediately I would make fun and she would laugh like a child with all moisture in her eyes.Till the end she had springs in her steps and spirit in her heart and her slender hands were always doing work. More important, she remained more innocent and naïve till the end.

More than anything else in life I want to internalize all her attributes including her naivness and village innocence because I know in concrete jungles we live, we need a particular mind set to forgive and forget many actions of devilish forces steeped in crookedness, wickedness, shallowness and all kinds of self aggrandizement. We can’t reform them. But should we not insulate from them by maintaining our purity and innocence?

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