What I felt on Two yesterdays-From my dateless Diary

Towards the end of May 2009, along with few professors and a senior business executive I had some good time in a restaurant .Prof.Amanullah was also there at that time. That business executive by recollecting the late poet Kannadasn’s film songs profusely, just mesmerized me I could feel the quantum of interest and passion that gentleman had for Kannadasan’s poetic flavor . For more than an hour I was drinking the elixir of his lecture. Yesterday I had the privilege and honor to listen to a great historian from Kashmir, rather a historian of historians speaking on the changing contours of 20th century history and also 20th century religion. His lecture was bristling with sense of humor and wit; he had a lot of things to say, quoting profusely from many scholars. It was an extempore lecture. No reading of the material.His depth in the subject, the delivery style and the air of romance surrounding it , I cannot forget . Indeed I will internalize his intellectual spirit by accelerating my reading which has vastly diminished in the last few years . Besides romancing with my discipline I would peep through many must read historical texts and also varied literature stuff .It is easy to write like this . I don’t know to what extent I will translate my academic greed into action . But I will sincerely try. In the following, I am sharing what I felt on that yesterday of May 29th, 2009 and this yesterday of 20th February 2010.

Yesterday evening was spent at
Hot and Cold,
In the company of varsity friends
And their friends over a mild drink
Which was more like a fruit juice?
But the intoxication came from a
Middle aged Business Executive,
Bristling with laughter and an incredible
Sense of humour

Being a fan, admirer of late Kavi Arasu
Kannadasan, he was in full form,
Like a river in full spate.
Recollected the famous lines of that
Great Immortal poet.

Profusely eating the grilled chicken,
I was also keenly watching him.
By singing the lines of Kannadasan
He was opening up a new world for me
How could I remain oblivious
Of this for so long?

I was just admiring and internalizing the poet’s spirit
Taking decisions to read Tamil literature
His joke apart, his self criticism
Was just enchanting as his narration of
Kannadasan’s lines.

For me, Kannadasan is only a
Symbol for my academic greediness
And also all the pleasantest things,
That I would like to see, hear, touch, feel
And devour, with appetite of a child
There’s an endless list of things
Which I would like to do
If health and time permitting.
I know I can only dream of those things.

It’s too late in my life,
During the final days of my life,
To have Dreams, desires and even modest goals.
Getting up early, and taking steps
Towards beach to see the rising sun,
Clothed by gentle breeze, I want to walk
Slowly, gently, then more briskly.
This must become a daily routine
More like a sheer habit
I am yet to take the first step
I have read more about walking
Its beneficial externalities
Its only when I internalize it and
Make it a regular habit
I will not enjoy its beneficent character

God as the greatest artist,
Paints every day on the clear
Or cloudy sky.
If there is no time to stand and stare
At this divine beauty,
We are wasting our life time
By sheer happy accident,
I was inducted into mild yoga,
For only one day
That was the end of it.
I fervently hope, the time has come
To streamline all aspects of my life,
The messy, clumsy, idiotic life,
A lopsided life, life spoiled by my subject to some extent
A mission not climaxing in any
Scholarly output, befitting of
My potentials and honest reading.
No regrets.

Yesterday I stumbled upon a Great Historian
From the extreme north
Going steadily beyond eighty
With fifty years of Teaching
And public speaking
A clear Role model for me.
At 87,he looked more of a child
With all innocence and energetic intelligence,
A face bristling with radiance and happiness
Kashmir weather adding more color
To his handsome features
Hence forth I will not worry more about
My critical inability and laziness
To see my accumulated notes into printed book format
I will neither abandon
Nor abdicate my academic responsibilities
I will be concerned
Not become anxious
Let the time come in natural way
To facilitate my modest ambition
I know I must read more
Teach more and lecture more
In many academic corridors
To repay my debt
To the academic community
And also consolidate my comparative advantage
In public speaking.
For the common cause of global civil society .