Sam@60-Part Two

I have not had any goals in life,
No grand design
To do any great thing
No Networking for
Rocketing me towards Mars.
Excepting the passion for my discipline.
Which has rather come
In a spontaneous fashion
I sincerely feel now,
The Forty years of Academic life, gone by
Could have been spent
In a still more productive way
With more writing and reading.
It was consumed away rightly by Teaching
No problem
This in essence was
My productive investment
For others, though not for me
As I could not build upon it.

The loss of life in general
Especially financial component of it.
Can’t be just assumed away.
Lack of goals, targets,
Absence of minimum ambition,
All can be rationalized
Given my innate parental genes
And my obsession with Reading
The sheer cruel fate
In just one line
Has deprived even the legitimate due
Sapping energy and
Draining all enthusiasm.

“The pleasure of learning is indeed pleasures”
So goes a reasoned statement.
Thank God,
I am blessed by ‘work’,
To enjoy and internalize the
Pleasure of learning.

My hard working parents
Never tasted any minimum
Comforts of life,
Although they could afford them
Given their critical ability
To earn by honest means
Yet they didn’t complain
Till the end, they lived in a
Small Thatched House
Peacefully and comfortably.

At ripe age of 75
Father breathed last,
With all memories about
His son, locked deep into
His heart,
A son who could not be
With him in the final years
Of his life.
His bank balance was nil
Rupees Five Thousand was
Left in Wooden Almara
Without much financial stress
He lived happily,
Peacefully, frugally .
It was only towards end of his life
The sugar invaded
And made him to
Moderate his diet,
Which he faithfully did.

I was and I am his wealth
The House in which I live now was
The bonus given by him
With the foundation money
To buy the plot.
While the construction was on
He came to see
The structure
After the ceiling was put
Scaffolding remained intact
He touched the walls
With all love and
Sense of accomplishment
And climbed down the steps
He couldn’t come thereafter
Had he lived longer
He would not have left
His village home
And stayed with me
On a longer time basis
As he was tied with the soil.
I was unlucky to miss him,
At the prime of my youth
while he was at ripe old age
And as if to the fill Vacuum in life,
He sent Sakthi the very next year
To breathe fresh oxygen of life.
I could adjust to his
Exit rather swiftly,
Given my young age and immaturity.
My mother was there
As an anchor and savior.
On the eve of sixtieth year
I remember my parents
All the memories of my father
Fully envelop me,
Giving me all the welcome cry
A kind of outburst
That I had savored
While my Mother left me
Two years ago
At the ripe age of 90 plus.

No visit to big temple in distance place,
Conventional holy places is contemplated.
At least, I would step in
Puducherry temple shrines
And do some meditations
And watch the roaring waves
To get some peace.

My parent’s blessings,
My Teacher’s concern
My students’ goodwill
And of course, my
Family members love
And Last, not the least
Economics my first wife,
Would keep me in good stead.