Revisiting the letter to Mother on Death Bed-Part One

Yesterday my father came in my dream, after a very very long time. He was in white shirt and looked very handsome .A few days earlier, my mother came with a young look and more spark in her eyes, calling me’Thambi’ with all affection written on her face . She was full of energy, enthusiasm and happiness. I held her tightly lest she would leave me .I could not think and believe that it was all only dream. I couldn’t hold her in my waking state. No problem. My parents always live in my thoughts and all layers of memory built into the molecules of my brain while I am marching towards my Sixty, I want to revisit a few lines that I wrote to my mother, while she was in her final days. She had a massive fall and a sever head injury.

I must write a few lines,
For me, more than for you,
Although I write for you.
Had I written all these,
A few days ago,
It would have been far difficult
Perhaps, they might have dissolved
Into salt soaked tears,
And disappeared?
Even those emotion ridden words
Would have been of no help.

As I was floating in a different world
A sea of despair and despendency
The best solution was
A FULL CRY,
An uninhibited, spontaneous,
Natural and normal cry,
Heart rendering, reverberating cry,
A kind of mother of all my
Cries in the past.
That eased my heart,
Made my nerves calm
And made me realize my limitations and
Also reconcile to the reality
And more important to face the reality.
Friends and Relational souls
Have taken care of me
It was a case study
To document the dominant role of
Non Monetary forces of life
Lending a helping hand
To make life happen and evolve
And make it function
Without much chaos.